Christmas Dinner at Nicols Village with Jean, Betsey, Ken and Glenn

 We arrived about 11;30am to Jean's apartment and talked while we put on our masks. Jean had a bad cold and cough. We asked if she got tested for Covid but being 99 3/4 years old, she did not know where or how to have a test. The Senior Community should have access to tests. 

Jean coughed and sneezed. She had failed to put her new hearing aids into their charger correctly again. Just drop them in at night. She can not comprehend that small detail. So we charged one ear and then half charged the other ear. She was very quiet at dinner. I so hoped that new hearing aids would put her back into the conversation pool. But, it was not to be. 

It would have been nice if she warned us that she was sick, but, that was not to be.

We wore masks in her apartment. We exchanged presents and drank gin.Dinner in the large dining facility was very good. Eating a huge dinner at 11:30am is a stretch for us. But we smiled and listened as the others talked about their upcoming trips, and problems. No one asked how we were, what were were doing. When I did talk, no one listened...it was like I was not in the same room. So I stayed quiet and planned what to eat for dinner.

There was no joy. No banter, no laughter. We marched down to dinner, marched back to her place and them drove home. Tired, and wish we could do something less depressing then have dinner with Jean, Ken and Betsy.

I go with Glenn to support him. But, so wish he had a very different family.It is what it is. A girl can only dream.

Thoughts For The Coming Year...2023

 It is 4:30pm and it is dark outside. My computer tells me to expect rain showers and advises me it is 39degrees Fahrenheit. There are strange sounds coming from the downstairs bathroom. It sounds like a large sawing away at a large piece of wood. Turns out that is my husband in the bathroom watching a youtube video on how to make something. HA!

2023

A year to respect all people who walk the earth. 

Last year was a year to eliminate toxic people from my company.

We will have Christmas dinner this year at Nicols Village large dining room with three toxic people.

Maybe I will able to learn something about myself by putting my myself into a senior citizen world with three toxic people. My mother in law who is four month away from 100. She is alittle senile, going blind, and has new hearing aids that work just fine for her. But, she is not used to the easy self-charging station. All she has to do is put the left hearing aid into the left side of the charging station...an easy drop into the station. Repeat with the right hearing aid. But this is too much for her. She will only push either hearing aid into the left side. She then proceeds to smash the hearing aid into the drop slot over and over again.

My dear Brother in law and his wife are both coming to Christmas meal. Each one is toxic in their own unique ways.

Ken is rude, does not think before speaking of what ever is rattling in his head, self-centered, has never ever ask anyone how they are. It is all about him, his pains, his aches, and his universe. Betsey, his wife has been bullied by Ken for years. Any thing he needs down, he delegates it to Betsey. She is very neurotic, bitter, and a mostly unkind person. At holiday dinners, she elected herself years ago to be the person to assign my table seat. But, she always waits until I have seated myself and I am comfortable. Then she calls out to me, and tells me where to sit. Last year after two complete knee surgeries I was recuperating day by day. Last year she wanted me to move once again. I firmly said no. I am not moving. Sorry this is where I will sit.

The food last year was pretty good. The drinks were not. They were not strong, and no limes were  present to jazz up the drink. It was a huge deal for the server to make a drink. This year I have a plan.

We will bring our own drinks.That would be wonderful and I hope they don't throw Glenn's mom out of the Village.

Some Times Life is Just Dull

Trying to make lemonade with lemons is my motto. But, spending an afternoon n Seabrook,NH can made an optimist into a sad and lonely person. The entire town is on RT 1 and it is one strip mall after strip mall, again and again, etc.  It has a Drive through Starbucks and at least a half dozen fireworks stores (not drive thrush).Numerous gas stations for all your gas needs, and it has a super Walmarts for your winter jogging.

Also there are many tattoo shops. smoke shops with the lowest ever prices. and banks. There are the chain hardware stores, on either side of the street. The State liquor Store is near the Marshalls. On and on it goes....  junk, more junk and all the junk you ever could use. 

There really is nothing in the town that I could call or pretend to call attractive. Just parking lot after parking lot....

                  

 I wish I could say it is a fun place and makes you smile. But, it just makes you grumpy, and grumpier.

Even the Holiday Decorations are cheap. Ho ho ho and merry holidays

holidays around the corner

 Looking forward to some snow and Christmas Joy. 

My Heart is Broken This Morning

 

Sunday night I got a phone call from one of my oldest friends from my Springfield, MA youth.

She befriended me at a time in my life I needed a lifetime friend. She introduced me to her family, he dad the shop keeper in downtown Springfield, her twin younger brother and sister, and her middle sister who was turning into a teenagers and loved her rock and rolls records. Her mom was a warn women who was quiet mostly. At times, when wisdom was needed, she would say a few words, that would heal the universe in my heart.

We have keep in touch from our sixth grade meeting , to my many moves over the years.

She never judged me. We were equals and we were both watched the other grown into nice adults.

She called to tell me that my old neighbor and friend Karen had  passed away over the weekend in hospice. Her breast cancer had come back after all these years. Karen was a sweet kid. Her mother was our crazy Girl Scout Leader.  Faye was always up for camping trips, or baking a birthday cake for Springfield's mayor. Faye was also my mothers best friend. The two were like young teenagers who, could signal each others by raising up their the blinds of their homes. There was a house in between these ladies. The all clear sign in our house was when mom, raised the blinds in our dinning room.  Minutes after the blind went up, Faye appeared at our back door with her cigarettes' and cofree.  They would spend time in our kitchen laughing and telling stories, and their laughter lite up of home.

For Karen and I, there came a time when she developed into a teenagers way before I did. Mom had a  heart to heart talk to me that this is the way life, true friends will come into your life at different times and that was alright. They will always be your friend. So true. Both Lynne and Karen, reconnected with me and it was wonderful.

Lynne was always a great talker my dad would say. He knew that I was a quiet soul.  

After she told my of Karen's passing, she told me about her breast cancer and how the two of them had become very close during Zoom Covid Cancer Talks.  

Karen and I shared our love of photography and nature on Facebook. We talked of visiting each other but never did.  

My hear broke when Faye passed away in her 90s. My heart is broken that a part of my youth  is now gone. 

Life goes on and I have have Faye and Karen thank for my love of nature and outdoors. I still have Lynne as the wise and understanding  older sister that my sister Judy never was or could be with her life long illness. 

Friends are gifts from the angels for those of us who need support during the hard times in our lives. 

FIRST PAIN FREE WALK DOWN NEWMAN ROAD.

 

Cheers were heard up on top of Olde Town Hill.  It was a very foggy day, but, I watched the fog move  and I did not move. I was still in the fog. Enjoying my music and the views. I was a very happy women out in the foggy marsh.   Call me crazy, but I was one with nature in that moment and having a great time.

My last knee operation was almost a year ago. The first knee was over a year and four months ago.

My surgeon said I could do it and I did it. With his help, the help of my PT partner, and my yoga teacher...I have fought a long battle and I won. 

Amen to me!!!!!!!

Thoughts on Getting Ready for the "Quiet Season"...Winter

                                        The full bloom of Autumn Leaves has arrived.

Apple cider, cider donuts, Halloween, and leaves falling out from the sky to the back yard.

I  miss the smell of leaves being burned from my childhood. The toasty smell was everywhere in our neighborhood. My mother always quietly monitored my father when he was raking his pile of leaves. One year his pile was too close to his car. He did not notice this when my panicked mother ran down the long front stairs of our house yelling as loud as she could to my dad. "Stop and Move your car NOW!" 

I loved watching the burning leaves and smelling the smoke of fall. 

Fall is a reminder that the Winter the "quiet season" is coming. Time to prepare is now. Round up the blankets, scarfs, and mittens. Buy jigsaw puzzles, matches and check the oil lamps.

The famous Friend's of Newburyport Library will have their book sale in late October. Time to pick up good books for the snowy season.  Saturday, a bag of books is now $2.00.

My counted cross stitch project is waiting for me.  I bought a enlargement mirror with a light that goes around my neck. No eye strain this year.

My snow shoes bindings rotted when I put off knee surgery. Shopping for a new pair will be fun and walking in the woods will calm my heart and soul.

Tough Guys at the Brewery

 We are old and sort of hip. Could not identify any 20s music. We still love Jazz. 

We are retired. We work hard around our house doing gardening, maintenance, and cleaning.

We still get our DVD by mail from Netflix. Our cars are old but, we own them outright.

We don't spend alot of money on junk, clothes, or entertainment. 

We do spend money to travel to interesting place and explore new areas.

We do read books. Most books are from the library. Some are from Thrift Books. 

We cook 90% of our meals at home. We eat lots of vegetables.   We eat kale.

We don't own a dog. A cat owns us.

We hand make our own cards.

We recycle and drive our own trash to the transfer center.

We went to many rock concerts in the 70s. We have bad hearing.

We live in the surrounded by trees, and marsh land.

We love nature, and respect nature. 

Its a dog's life.....I want.

 The hardest part of being a survivor of bulling, is to find out that someone else close to you was also a survivor.

I spent a blissful 5 years at elementary school in a very nice and calm school in Newton, MASS.

For me it was the best place to get my early learning. I was extremely shy and did not have any skills to break out of myself and interact with people. At the end of Fourth Grade, we sold our home and moved to Springfield, MASS.

I started 5th grade in a very old school building that had a gravel playground. It was a little rough around the edges this building. It was hot in good weather and cold in bad weather. The basement near the bomb shelter was our "so called gym". The classrooms were large, with huge windows on the side. Next door to our room was a large open coat closet. Windows rattled in the winter. Pigeons nested on the outside ledges. 

In six grade, my teachers was well past retirement age, and I started to learn how to day dream look out the big windows. I remember bringing in a newspaper article about Elvis's hub caps being  stolen for show and tell. I proudly read the article in front of the class. My teacher was horrified that I would bring in a story about Elvis, and his hub caps.  I was very happy to move onto 7th Grade in Forest Park Junior High School.

I met a friend and life settled into a nice routine. This school was also very old. The girls shower room was dark and dank. The cafeteria was in the basement.  I took cooking and sewing in home economics. My mother had a bad accident and broke both her wrists, and check bone. It was  a very lonely time for me. 

My father did the cooking, and cleaning. Mom got jaundice and took such a long time to heal. At the same time my father's business was failing. Money was tight. So, at the end of eight grade we moved again. 

This time we moved to a small ranch in Wellesley, MASS. My new school was very new and shinny. It had a huge gym with all the fittings. For some unknow reason to me, I was assigned home room for the band. I room attached to the auditorium. The band would practice during home room assignments and every student and the band leader would leave me alone in the room to practice. Being new, this isolation was very hard. I had no friends, no one to hang out with. I also did not have the skill set to be brave enough to meet anyone. People in Wellesley had money, and we did not have money.

I learnt that I could not afford the fashions of my other students. I so wanted a Villager  Dress and penny loafers. I dressed differently, acted differently and I hurt knowing I would never fit it. 5th and 6th grade in Jr. High was not fun for me. 

I entered Wellesley Senior High. It was a nice school, a pretty school and again, I did not fit in.

All 7th graders had to take a Speech Class. Our assignment was to pick a topic of interest and make a speech to the class. I was fascinated by all things Japanese so, I choice my topic to be The Japanese Tea Ritual.  I did not get a good grade. The speech teacher thought I should have picked a topic that more of my fellow students would have enjoyed. What did I know about what other students liked. I was a loner, a sad lonely kid who spent my time at home alone, and alone at school.

Somehow, I got through 9th and 10th grade.  A class trip to NY City and the Worlds Fair was announced in my senior year. My parents said I could go. On the signup form, it asked who you would like for a room mate at the hotel. I wrote down the name of a nice Italian girl that I sort of knew.

When we arrived that night at the hotel, We were assigned rooms.  We checked into our room and my Italian room mate was very upset because she got me as a room mate and she wanted to be with her friends. After dinner, we went back to our room and she told me that she was not staying  in our room, her friends wanted her to stay in their room. So she left. I was alone, in the room with no window, just a dark air duct. No view just darkness. It was very scary for me. I did not sleep well and I was sad that my roommate had dumped me. In the morning, after breakfast we took the bus to The Worlds Fair. I remember how excited I was. We all left the bus, and I started to follow a group of my classmates. One of them, said to me GO AWAY, we don't want you with us. She kept repeating this and her voice got louder and louder. I did not know what to do. The all walked away, and then then ran away. I ran to follow them but soon I was alone at the World's Fair. Just me. I was crying, and did not know what to do.  I noticed Belgium Waffle sign and ordered on with fresh strawberries, ice cream and whipped cream. I decided to look at the program and picked the venues that I most wanted to see. Ate my first Belgium Waffle of the day, and lifted up my head and spend a glorious day at the fair. Yes, I had a second Belgium Waffle that day. I went to all the exhibits and was thrilled about this fair. What fun I had. Who needed to be with shitty girls. I could do this on my own.  

I never understood where I got the strength to proceed but, from that day forth I did things by myself and had great times discovering Boston, MFA, Filenes Basement, the Boston Gardens, Freedom Trail and the Swan Boats. 

So, when I found out just recently that my niece had been bullied in high school also, it brought my day at the Worlds Fair to the front of my memories. I know the pain she went through. I lived myself. I isolated myself for many years. I trusted no one. I never had more that one friend at a time.  I spent most of my time in Wellesley isolated, lonely and very sad. I wanted more. I wanted friends, I wanted to be able to connect with people my age. But, I knew that I could be strong and independent. So, I remember the sadness. 

So, I was sad, but, it taught me a life lesson. Know thyself. Enjoy your own company. Love yourself. Be kind to all sad and lonely  people.

   

  

“Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.”

 “

Patience is not the ability to wait, but the                                                                                                                      a

ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.” 

      thoughts on growing old.........................................................

Is it just me, but, I don't knew where all these stupid National Holidays ;have come from. Really Hot Dog Day?   I am old, and I don't remember one of these holidays growing up in the 50s, 60s, or 70s.

Starting to feel more like my old self more often. First Yoga, Friday, and Saturday, cleaned up the new Evelyn garden 3/4 cut back day liliesnb .

And by the way, WHO AM I? Who I have become?  What is this new me? It is a lot like the old me but, it is more energized, so much less of pain, and more smiles.. 

Reincarnation...of my soul and being into who I was before and stronger now.

Lost Morning and Thoughts All Over the Place. Wish it would rain.

Drought in Massachusetts ,we have had no rain in over a month. Everything in the gardens are turning brown. Topsfield River drying up in areas, and local friends wondering if their wells will go dry.

For some color, we visited the Hat Museum which is in the Whittier Museum in Amesbury.

Years ago, a thriving hat factory operated in  Amesbury. It employed hundreds of works. This small museum is on the second floor of the John Greenleaf Whittier Home and Museum in Amesbury, MA.

Most of these antique hats were made in the Twenties, and Thirties. They are a wonder and joy to view.

 

Helicopter Hummingbirds And Marihuana Laced Seltzer Water

Cowboys and Indians

Evelyn Trilling Milhender , 16 year book picture.

 I have been smoking a lot of our own home grown weed lately. My body, after two major operations is stiff. So, I smoke to relax the muscles and retrain them to work, and relax.

Some morning I wake up and ever after the morning coffee, I still  am rather spacy. I can live with this if my body and all its muscles are regaining skills, and strength. 

Some time during this August's record breaking HEAT WAVE, I stopped  doing my knee exercise. I was having a lot of sciatic nerve pain from my left side of my lower back down the leg and ending in the burning sensation in my left foot. The burning lasts long than the electric wave of pain going down my leg. It feels like being hit by lightning and can't be stopped once it starts.

Sometime, I can't use my left leg as the pain is so great. I must wait for the storm to pass, and then cautiously try the first step with my left foot.

So I puff the magic dragon and go on with my life. My mother Evelyn taught me so many life lessons, it is hard for me not to miss her since her death at 96. She lived way too long. She had many strokes before she died. The Last time I visited her, she was having great difficulty speaking. We sat in her living room and watch the black and westerns that she so loved. I could from her face that she was thinking hard how to communicate with me. Then she smiled at me and made clicking noises with her tongue. Slowly I understood the sounds she was making, they were the noise a horse makes as they walk. Click, click, click and click. I love her so much.

A long and winding road.

 

After my surgeries, I made a few goals. 

 First I wanted to ride my bike by July 1, 2022, then I wanted to get strong, and I also wanted to lose weight and finally, I wanted to engage in nature every day.

Ready for my first time on the bike in three years, as I walked down the stair to the cellar, I  got  nauseous and thought I was going to throw up.. It was all nerves and fears. I did not throw up and I rode my bike 1 mile round trip. The ride did not last long, but did it before the 4th, second trip I rode my bike farther and went 3.3 miles round trip. Two days ago, I walked and rode my bike to Newburyport and back home...at least 6.3 miles. I rod the street and sections of two of the 3 bike trails in town. I rested on the waterfront and talked to strangers and felt the cool sea breeze on my back.

Yes, I am getting strong. But still anytime my sciatic nerve calls, I get very depressed. No advance warning. No time to sit down or prepare an escape route. Step by step I get my old self back and invent my new self.   

Gift from Nature

 My introduction to Japanese Forest  Bathing had its ups and downs. Our Guide for the day arranged an  interesting walk through Mosley Woods in Newburyport. I never walked into the woods of this park before today. This park must be a favorite of all the neighborhood dogs. Herds of dogs, arrived and  their owners unleashed them. The dogs were all friends and came in all sizes and shapes. 

We waited on a picnic table that was opposite the children's' swings, and climbing dinosaurs' sculptures, and we faced the Merrimack River and the RT 95 bridge. Lola our guide arrived and gave us the history of Japanese Forest Bathing .

She slowly walked down a rather well used trail then went straight down by the river. heel to toe, each step deliberate, and quietly. No talking was allowed. We were to absorb the special medicinal properties of these trees. It was unfortunate that the traffic sound from the bridge muted the silence. The hum of traffic was loud and very hard to ignore. We walked up hills, down hills, past ponds, and streams. I was very glad that I brought a walking stick. 

As I walked, I had to watch the ground for tree roots and large stone to avoid falling. I found a oak tree puff ball which I put into my side pocket. Next came a very small green and yellow leaf, then some lichen and some tree bark. I was going to add these treasures to a very small birds nest that I found at Spencer Little Farm. The picture is above. It is filled with horse and donkey hair. The farm has many sheep, chickens, one retired race horse, one old donkey, many goats, and huge old pigs. I plan to add some of these items to my "hobbit home that my husband presented to me a few years ago on my birthday. It needs a few touch up items.

After our walk, Lola, served us lemon tea and gave us tiny bottles of essence of trees. 

I prefer to Forest bath in my back yard. We are lucky to share our stone wall with 500 acres of forest that can never be built on. We have lots of deer, racoon, and other curious animals who come to visit. 

I sit on my favorite chair on the deck and slowly breathe in the forest, baby birds are around, including hummingbirds, and chickadees. It is very pleasant sitting here. Being at one with nature. I love where I live. No highway noise, some cars, a few motor bikes, lots of boys in latex, and an hourly train.

I am so lucky that I am here. It is beautiful, mostly quiet, and so very private.  

Back in the Quite Zone

 Home again. Stressed out in the outer world of family, sickness, and stupidity. 

Breathe in and out...slowly, close the eyes, let the light shine.

One would think that flying thru clouds would open one' s mind. Seeing nature from high above the earth. I would think that it would give my mind the clarity of wisdom. 

Instead, it takes to places of sadness, illness, loneliness, greed and emptiness.  

Airports of my youth were a gateway to the wonders of the world. Step on the stairs and up to the skies you go. You wake up to new worlds, people, and wonders.

The "modern" airport is more of a people mover. Line after line, following the maze, take your shoes off, walk through glitter shopping malls, and waiting and waiting till the silver plane takes you back to the clouds and to new or old destinations.

I am tired, I traveled and found sadness, sickness, and sorrow. I came home to an empty feeling.

Each morning I take my coffee cup and sit on my back deck. I watch the baby birds, mother birds, quiet birds, loud mouth birds, acrobat birds, and birds of all sizes and colors.

I breathe in and out and I am so glad I am home to the quiet. 

Sciatic Pain in my left toe to my left back....ouch

 

I was quietly reading in bed last night. The Blue Thread. Enjoying the book alot. I decided to get up and wash up for bed. As I lifted myself up, I felt enormous pain from my sciatic back from my toes to my head. I tried to stand up, but each time, I placed my left foot on the the floor, the pain come back and came back stronger. Glenn was in the bathroom at the time, and I was screaming in the bedroom. Some how I managed to get into the bathroom, and take the two Tylenol and cup of water. My entire body was sweating and heat was  pouring off my body. Then I felt nauseous and push Glenn away from the toilet. I was sure that I was going to throw up. How I got down on the floor, I really don't know. The feeling passed and I was helped up slowly to my feet by Glenn. Walking was still a problem. I decided to walk sideways with my right side and drag my left leg. It worked and soon I was in bed arranging pillow to wait for the pain  relax. I finally slept. I woke up and talked to Glenn. He said at one point, he considered calling an ambulance. I guess we both were pretty scared. This sciatic pain was the most severe one I have ever had. 

Since my two knee replacements, I have had some sciatic pain. Since the right knee I have had about four of five incidents . 

I have been told that the space between my L5 and L6 has been narrowing due to arthritis. But, it has never been so much pain.

I pretty much took the next day off to finish my book, watch our hummingbirds, and all the other baby birds in our yard. I had a bad stomach ache all day. So, I ate alot of sugared ginger and I think that helped.

I am afraid to call the Pain Clinic. Last time, he kept training smaller needles into my spine. On needle made me scream and jump. Moving is not a good thing. I really don't want to be knocked out to have this procedure.   I have to take some time out to think what I need to do. 

Miracles of Summer Time Memories

 

My summer sun hat is complete with a thousand French Knots done as my activity during the dark and lonely days of the Pandemic. 

Rarely seen Ghost Moth rests on our house every a long matting session.

Paris was swell but Newbury is home.

 Home. Home. Now we are home. No fancy lights, fancy foods, and  fancy people.

Back Home. I can wear my oldest jeans with a torn t-shire and I am styling here.

Casual, and I don't mean business casual. I mean dressing for comfort, gardening, working with your hands and not styling. 

Home, back yard noise birds, occasional train whistling a pass deer, and prop planes flying overhead from Plum Island Airport. 

Trees are my neighbors, trees are my soul mates, and trees all around my yard. Each years the oaks gain more height and more stature in the tree world. The trees have grown in the 30 plus years that we have lived here. Each years a little more full sun is taken away from our plants. Each year we buy more shad resistant plants.

But home is good. Home is safe, quiet most times, and where I can be myself.

 

The French live to Eat and I Agree.

 Best ever hot fudge sunday in Honfleur Crepe Restaurant. The French do food so well. They never rush through their food. They appreciate the presentation, the smell, the texture, and the taste. Ah, they have honored food as a god given right and a thing of beauty.

In France, the would never ask you if you are finished with your meal in a restaurant. They would leave you alone with your empty expresso cub for hours. You end your meal at your own pace. Only when you ask for a check,   your server knows that you are ready to leave on your own terms. How civilized is that.

Don't rush your food, your service, sit back and savoir each and every bite, every taste to the fullest.

The World is Going Topy Turvey

 I do not recognize the news anymore. The World has gone utterly crazy. War in Europe. Killings, raping's, and mass destruction of civilization.

First Covid   and now this mess. I wish I was back in the 50s. Duck and Cover and survive a nucellar attack.

How did we get into this mess and more importantly how do we get out of this mess.

I fight off tears while watching the International News. I can't sleep. 

Is there no love in the world anymore. Are the crazy people ruling for their countries out of their minds?

I think they are.

Reading Lennon's Tomb during this experience gives me a wee bit of insight. But, being a peaceful person this whole experience is killing me. It is breaking me down. I meditate, I listen to music, I breathe fresh air. Nothing helps. 

I am very sad and despondent. 

Happy Spring with all its mud, frogs, and singing birds.

Happy Spring. Our gardens are a muddy mess. I walked to the garden shed and picked up my covered pail with all my gardening tools. I have high hopes of cleaning up the herb garden, perennial garden and Evelyn's front day lily garden.  I plan to take it easy, slowly at first and she how I do. 

The Ukraine war is still going strong and the Russians are committing war crimes every day.

Stay focused on simplicity, patience, and hope.

 

BEAUTY IN A DEAD PLANT AND RUSSIA COMITTS WARCRIMES AGAINST CROATIA

I am overwelled by this illegal war.  Putin is a very sick human being. no wonder Trump wanted to team up with him.

I seek beauty in small items around my house. I see beauty in dead plants, sun reflections, and colors. 

This year, I had two complete knee replacements  and team that with covid ; it is safe to say that I spent a lot of time at home, inside, isolated and lonely. 

The healing process started in June with my left knee. In September we cancelled our trip to France for the fourth time. So in October I had my right knee done. Healing is hard process. You have to go slowly, take 100% of your time to heal, take naps, and exercise. The June knee, I was lucky to have our backyard deck to hang out in. October was harder because of the snow and ice...kept me locked inside.

I read big books. I watched documentaries on PBS, and used my blessed ice machine.

Would I do this again. Yes, I would. The pain in my knees are gone, I can walk, I can stand up straight, and I hopefully this summer will ride my bike again (once I clean the two inches of dust off of it.)

Ten Days of Russian Bombing of Ukraine

My head hurts and my soul is exhausted. Ten days of violet unhuman bombing of Ukraine by Russia.

Covid was bad enough, but add this on top of health issues, this blows my mind.

A mad man is out to grow and control as much territory that he can. He cares not about his soldiers being killed, starving the Ukrainians', or any public negative thoughts.

His plan is very clear, fight, control and take over at all costs. He hopes Trump runs in the next election so, that he can spread his neo-Nazi ideals and thoughts.

My heart shutters in fear of this unknown possibility. 

Evil exists in human nature. Why does it always come out to destroy human beings? Why can't we all get alone in peace and love.

Love should be the answer. Not war, not hate, and not this craziness.

IT IS A STRANGE NEW WORLD THAT WE ARE NOW LIVING

Presidents Day

Walked to White Bridge and back. One Mile goal. check off.

Goals reached, new lists to start of other new goals.

Working hard on exercises at home. Iced myself after the walk. Just to ease my right knee's anxiety. 

Beautiful almost spring day. Spring calls of the birds are starting. But yes, It is still February.

Time of healing drags on. Days feel like months. The stretcher out days are all the same. Inside my house, at my computer listening to Rosanne Cash's Black Cadillac. 

I wonder what space is like. Space is now the place for astronauts, and famous rich people. People who would rather pay millions for a fifteen minute ride than feed the starving people of this world.

  

Need I say more?

 “legitimate political discourse.”

Need I say more about the attitude  of the Republicans'  hatred of the above words used by Democrat's to describe last years forceful takeover of The Capital. 

Better Safe than Sorry Blues

 

It is a very cold morning outside and I sit inside sipping my morning coffee. I am still in the healing mode. Yes, it is getting old and so am I. But, day by day I get stronger. Tiny baby steps indeed. But with this pandemic, and new variants coming out every few months, I ask myself what is my rush?

Ok, I hate having no place to go. No excitement in our lives. Same thing everyday. Again and again, the days repeat themselves.

“You are not going to be perfect every day.

It’s about turning up the next day and doing it again.”

- Krista Tippett

I reason with myself, that isolation is better than sickness. I wear a mask everywhere even though I have had two covid shots and one booster. Better safe than sorry.

Icy Days , Stuck Inside...Shots Looking Out. . .. Cabin Fever Setting in

 

Walked the Length of Quill Pond Yesterday

 Joy, forgot how wonderful fresh air is. How sweet the smells from the woods, plants, and animals.

Fresh air is a free gift for all of us. Today is our first snow storm, so I am inside. Warm and cozy and looking forward to an afternoon tea break. No place to go, a day to relax at home. Joy. 

This pandemic is building up strength again.  Joppa Flats Audubon is closing Jan 7 for two weeks, Senior Center of Newburyport  is also closed. Here we go again. Try to stay calm this time. Take some joy each day into your heart. Get a new hobby, read a new book, work on embroidery project.  Start another French knot hat project. Stay calm, breath at night, at day, and at noon. Stretch your body. Love your body.

Don't become fearful. Stay safe at home. This too will pass. 

How I watched Frontline in late evening and scared myself out of sleeping all night.

 As the anniversary of the Jan. 6 assault on the U.S. Capitol draws near, FRONTLINE,

@ProPublica

&

@ucbsoj

update "American Insurrection," our investigation into the rise of far-right extremism in America. STREAM NOW: https://to.pbs.org/3favG3T

Ok, this really scared me. Documented evidence that some rioters were from the military.

Shit, I have to take a nap. 

Happy 2022

These past few years all blend into each other. Covid, masks, shots, isolation, fear, no travel, very little social contact. Well Happy New Year. Today, I woke up to massive fog over the pond, the trees, and a lot of rain. I am glad that so far, we have been safe from covid. 

This past year in June, I had complete  total  knee replacement for my left knee in June, and my right knee in November. Besides stays in the hospital, doctor visits, pt visits and utter exhaustion, I spent a huge chunk of last year recuperating..

I can not wait for my first spring walk (sans pain). 

I was lucky enough to get scheduled around covid out brakes. So, I am hoping for this pandemic to  disappear and give me my life back.

Is that too much to ask for?