In Recovery Mode....oh happy days.

Oh Joy Flowers

 

Before and After

Every Day My New knee becomes more naked and explosed.

I have not blogged since the end of May. June 1, 2021 Dr. Matteous replaced my arthritic left knee...totally. All new and all good.  Since that day, I fight for a good night sleep, use my Nice Ice Machine ...ahhh, and exercise. I am reading a lot of good non fiction books,  eating too many cookies and ice cream deserts. I am getting stronger, and working very hard at getting stronger. My progress is pretty amazing. This leg was shooting iron electric stabs from my dead, bone on bone knee cap. No warning of the pain, just pure electric shocks all day and night. What a relief this new knee is. This new knee works like a fabulous knee. We are a team, again. I am so happy to be back in the loop of my life. Stronger every day,  smiling all the way to recovery. 

Thoughts on Surgery, rain, and love.

 I had my first and hopefully only Covid test today which is mandatory for my upcoming knee replacement. I still find it hard to use the word surgery.  I am a surgery rookie, unlike my wonderful sister. She is another long story. 

 We are in the middle of  a huge northern storm and it is raining cats, and dogs out there. It is a dark and dank day today.  But, the flowers, shrubs and plants needed a good spring soaking. A small humming bird was just at our feeder. Poor thing to be hungry on such a dismal day.

I am rather lucky to have found my soul mate about 35 years ago. He will be my pain coach, driver, and companion while I recuperate. He does not know how to make chicken soup, but, he has so many pluses in his resume, I can't list them.

I will be working hard to brake in my new knee the next few months. I look forward to no pain in my left knee, leg and back. I look forward to walking long distances, being flexible to walk up and down stairs and have my life back. I most likely will have to have my right knee done at some point. But, for the next few months, my focus will be on my left knee.

Blog for my left knee

 I was able to blog during the pandemic. My worries, my few joys, and mostly my fears. This entire time I have had a bad left knee. It needs to be replaced. It will be replaced on June 1 if all goes as planned.

I have been in pain for way to long. I have tried to act normal while I feel like crying, screaming, or even hiding under my bed spread.

Yesterday, for the first time, I admitted to myself, that the pain is real. I am walking strange, stairs are an issue and  I want my life back.

                                                                                

I so want to walk for miles, I so want to run up and down the stairs, I so want to take my garden wagon out of the shed and fill it up with weeds, fallen parts of trees, and other spring time clean up miscellaneous stuff. 

I have had a bad back since my twenties. I am now in my seventies. How have I dealt with the pain, and loss of activity for so long.  I have been in a pain fog so long, that it has become my reality.

I sit at my desk and look at the pile of hospital papers, x-rays, and a uncompleted prime directive. To ventilate or not to ventilate that is my question. I say go for life and fight for it every day and every second.

Waiting and Waiting in Spring

 

Spring is full of waiting time. Waiting to hear the first new green leaves sway and play in the breeze. Spring is waiting for the first hummingbird to appear on our feeder. This spring waiting for the call from my doctor's office as to the date of my upcoming surgery. 

No sounds from the leaves, nor are there any hummingbirds (lots of chickadees feeding on the sweet syrup). Today, I got the call for the day of my surgery ..June 1. 

A huge weight has  lifted  in my anxiety. I can't wait for a working knee ...pain free. Oh yes, I am excited. 

Hitting a Brick Wall of Old Memories and Stories at 3:30am

 Full Steam ahead.....the mind is rushing, the thoughts are flying through space at a record speed and I am sitting at my desk at 3:30am with head cat in residence as my supervisor.

I miss David, it is spring and he is the spring guy who brought the beauty of  birds as the returned to our yard to mate, play and have their young. The joy of the warblers, bright, bold, and fast moving in the tops of the trees. 

I miss my old life.  The coming of the fourth pandemic round is terrifying me. Even with two covid shots in me, I feel cold and alone.

The weather is 70 one day and next day the sea winds chill my bones and I hide under the feather comforter for warmth and security.

I am having alone one huge  panic attack that is creeping up on me. I don't recognize my thoughts, actions or being. I am alone in my mind.

IT took 2 1/2 hours but now I can take penicillin

 Well, for the last 65 years, I always put on my doctor's questioner allergic to Penicillin.

Yesterday, it was confirmed that no, I am not allergic and for 65 years I thought I was.

Go figure. I enjoyed reading Eleanor Roosevelt's  book 3 reading at the longest ever Dr. appointment. Hitler is taking over Europe, country by country. What a frightening time it must have been.

  

Finally, we get our second covoid shot.

 Getting the appointment for the shots was near impossible. Finally, we went through a back door and got appointments. Getting the shot were the easy part. Very organized, swift, fast moving and before you know it...it is done and you have the paper work to prove it.

It is very anticlimactic. Joy lasts for a few moments. Relief and freedom thought last a little bit longer. Soreness in my arm lasted the longest. Poof and it was over. Stress levels down, a hint of a normal life.

Then I hear the shots las six month.  We never win.