I was able to blog during the pandemic. My worries, my few joys, and mostly my fears. This entire time I have had a bad left knee. It needs to be replaced. It will be replaced on June 1 if all goes as planned.
I have been in pain for way to long. I have tried to act normal while I feel like crying, screaming, or even hiding under my bed spread.
Yesterday, for the first time, I admitted to myself, that the pain is real. I am walking strange, stairs are an issue and I want my life back.
I so want to walk for miles, I so want to run up and down the stairs, I so want to take my garden wagon out of the shed and fill it up with weeds, fallen parts of trees, and other spring time clean up miscellaneous stuff.
I have had a bad back since my twenties. I am now in my seventies. How have I dealt with the pain, and loss of activity for so long. I have been in a pain fog so long, that it has become my reality.
I sit at my desk and look at the pile of hospital papers, x-rays, and a uncompleted prime directive. To ventilate or not to ventilate that is my question. I say go for life and fight for it every day and every second.
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