I So Don't Want to Write This

 But, I will. Life is filled with ups and down. Learn from your downs and step up to your ups .This life trip is not easy.  Emotions run high to low also. Again, leave from your lows and step up to your highs.

Find a hobby or a venue that stimulates your whole mind. Emerge yourself into that hobby/ or venue.

Study it. Watch it from the inside and then on to the outside.

Don't look for a guide. There is none.

It is ok to be shy, or an introvert in this wild. Just be quiet and watch, listen and learn from people around you. Ask people questions about their lives. People love to talk about their lives. Ask them about their hobby/venue. Listen. Listen. They will talk and you will learn.

It is ok to go to quiet spaces and enjoy the silence. Take time for yourself and your spirit.

Turn off the television if you can. Move to another room. Build your quiet space and use it when needed.

Cherish time alone with your quietness.

Smile, greet new people and ask them how they are doing. Smile , just plain smile.

Be kind to all people. Including yourself. Give all human beings dignity, and do it now.

You have nothing to lose, only to gain. Take the first step forward. Make a list. Add list to calendar. Use Calendar for appointments, reminders, birthdays & anniversaries. Also, doodle and keep track of your aches and pains, your happiness, your sadness. You joys, your accomplishments. 

State the New Year with a Positive Attitude. Grow, Develop, Learn, and Love this coming year.

(Go On Stage) 

Thought I was more on top of emotions, daily life and calmness.

 Wrong, wrong, and wrong. Drove half way to Andover and noticed that I should have gotten my car inspection in September. Today is almost the end of December. How did I space that out. Granted, I have driven so few days in my car this year. But, this pandemic brain, thinks you are doing fine. Just fine. Then you look in the mirror to find a tired, washed out face...that is your reflection.

Sure, it has been depressing. Staying at home month after month. So many things to worry about. This year's election, Trump's giant leap into madness,  the economy, empty shelves at the grocery store and  the loss of being able to sleep soundly and wake up refreshed.  All gone. 

That happy content feeling, is gone, all gone and the feeling is of emptiness, loneliness, and sadness. I started to notice how odd people act in the stores. Then I realized that I act odd outside, there is an inherent nervousness about me and those around me. I wonder down the supermarket lanes, confused, looking for something  but not really knowing what I need or want or why I wander through this store. Is it to see people? Be with people? Am I that lonely, sad, and desperate?

There was some joy watching Biden win the election. But then Trump still refused to say he lost the election. The news of the new corona shots should thrill me, but, I can't get my head off my pillow.

I drag around my body. My body aches mostly from arthritis but, it also aches because I am so unhappy.

Is there any end in sight. This coming winter will be bad. The virus is on its second wind. People still refuse to wear a simple mask to protect themselves and others.

With the help of friends and neighbors, we will make it thought the winter. But, come spring, our economy, our nation, and ourselves will be exhausted. We will  bury the dead, and move on to a new economy, a much smaller population, fewer restaurants and shops. We will move on. 

First we dig and then we move on. ConEdison was right about that.

 

2020- A Very Strange Year in Review...it is almost over.

• Google Tracking shows in March I went to Newbury.
• Red haired president adds to stress with his lying
• Covid shut downs, stay inside all winter
• Read 40 pound book, 9th Street Women...all winter, spring, and fall.
• Finish 40 year embroidery project .
• Master French knots, add thousand to brim of summer hat.
• French knot glen's hat's rim.
• Listen to CD, and WCRB for entertainment.
• Listen over and over again, Glenn practicing French.
• Watch Becky tunnel in guest bed while I do my yoga practice.
• Have another crown to fix cracked tooth. Love the new rinse of peroxide.
• Figure out that my left knee is bone on bon.
• Connect with some great neighbors.
• Enjoy being outside on our decks.
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Thinking of the new year and how to do it with attitude.

 Took a walk down the street to the marsh and White Bridges. It was a cold day but, instead of snow, it was raining cold water on me. Good day to walk. Quiet. Only brave people out walking. Very quiet, few birds, did smell deer in the far woods. The different trees are all my friends. I have been walking this route for over 30 years now. The walk has a few good hills, and curves to keep my mind free of life.

After the last hill, the view opens to the Great Marsh. We have a nice portion of the marsh right down the street. It is my marsh. I mediate on the bridge, screech my back her, and sit on the bridge and become part of the marsh. 

One never knows what one will see here. Today, I was lucky. I watched a great blue heron fly over the bridge. The bird should not be here now. It should have already migrated. But, I love watching these big birds fly gracefully with their long neck guiding their way. 

My next visitor was stealth and quiet. A perigone falcon soared slowly by over the bridge. He slowly flapped his strong wings three times and  picked up his speed across the marsh. His black helmeted head was beautiful. In a few seconds, he was gone. I was very grateful for him allowing me to see him in this slower form. 

Newman Road runs through the marsh. Salt marsh haying has taken place here for hundreds of years. 

The incoming tide is flooding parts of Newman Road today. It looks like it will be a super high tide. Fun loving people, trucks and other vehicles drive though the high waters. The Waves cover most of their vehicles.  I watch their  cars soak in the salt. Crazy people like these guys amuse me. It is a Newbury thing. Watching people destroy their vehicles. It is a long and slow process. But, I am a patient person on a rainy, cold day in December.

Things that take my peaceful away from me.

 

1. Trash in the woods
2. Train noise
3. Constant pounding sound of hammers on granite
4. Heavy trucks rolling fast down my street
5. Loud honking cars
6. People talking loud on phones walking down the street
7. Loud mopeds going home in a rush down the street
8. Motor cycles in a group charging down the street

That is not an egg yoke and neither am i

 

We went to Pet Heaven in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Portsmouth is a very old new England fishing and navy sort of town. Powerful, small, charming architecture and great parks, great place for a craft brewed beer and good restaurants. It is on the ocean and a large river. Across the river is the Navy Yard where they build and repair submarines. They have a museum which  once a real submarine, It is small but, interesting to go there. 

But I digress, darn hate when that happens

.that object is not an egg yoke.   It is carrot juice in my small dark blue glass.

........................................mumbles......................................

I like the internet, but you can not smell what you see. You can not handle the item and then to smell an item. I would be lost with out my sense of touch, and that moment where you small an item. Some thing smell old. I live in New England...things here are very old.

Old tools have an dirt, oily smell. Clothes run the gamut of smelling like lavender, up to bodily orders  

Furniture can have a smell that brings your mind back, way back to your childhood. It is not a gentle smell.

I do love lavender, so when Tom's of Maine came out with a lavender ladies deodorant, I hopped out and got myself one of those deodorant. After you use this product, there is a very nice..not strong lavender smell. Heavens, that is a right nice smell.

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.  Biden’s White House picks include many who have come over from his campaign, along with longtime allies who have served him since at least his time as Vice President. Announcing Ronald A. Klain as his White House chief of staff, Biden wrote in a statement, “His deep, varied experience and capacity to work with people all across the political spectrum is precisely what I need in a White House chief of staff as we confront this moment of crisis and bring our country together again.” 

 Thank you Mr. President. Good news...intelligence, plans, and discipline are alive and well.

Also news...the airlines are thinking of testing every one flying in a plane. Did they not do this before. The Airlines are going to be taking blood?????

I feel it has been thousand years, since I worked in the travel industry.

A Sunday for Pure Chilling

 Warm Indian Summer has departed. Many summer bird have also departed. The leaves of our trees have moved into the compost pile. Winter is on its way. Trump admits that Biden has won the election. Still holding his transition money and not sharing the daily briefings. 

A two shot injection is about to be approved for Covid. Hospital workers first and then seniors. Yes, being old does have its advantages. 

Fearing a long winter. Ordered series of books on Eleanor Roosevelt's life, Japanese embroidery book, and Glenn will set up an art area in the basement.

I want to stock up on paper goods, can foods, and pasta. I get worried about this lock down being worse than 2020's lockdown.

A Year of Pandemic, National Elections, and Restrictions

 

Every November, I get a reminder email from my eldest niece, Katie, that it is time to send in family pictures for her annual calendar. So, I searched my 2020 photo file and had a very interesting view in pictures of this year.

This year has had its challenges. Covid came in January to China, soon it spread to Asia, Africa, Europe, North America, and South America. People all of the world were catching Covid  and were getting deathly ill, and many, many people died. Hospitals were over whelmed, toilet paper was a luxury item, and people started to wear masks. Soon, there were warnings to seniors not to go out....except to the doctors office or to shop for food.

Soon restaurants closed, and many went bankrupt. People in massive numbers lost their jobs, people zoomed from their computers to work. People were afraid. Then the police started to use more force than necessary and started shooting first and asking questions second.

Riots came to big cities. Nothing had any pleasure. Art museums closed, theatres closed, and bars shut their doors. Many venues opened out door seating. It was safer outdoors and six feet apart.

So, being a nice aunti, I spent three hours going through all of my photographs from 2020. I take alot of photos. Nature, Old Tv shows, history shows and nature shows. 

The pictures mostly were of my walks around my wooded neighborhood with an old ice pond.

Lots of preserved land, hikes, and open nature. 

Watching this many pictures was somewhat like watching a video of last year. Highlights, Jackson NH

Low periods of self isolation watching old movies, sewing, and reading. I listed to alot of cds from jazz to classical.

I was able to find three pictures of Glenn, two pictures of me, and one picture of our cat Miss Becky.

So within the next two months, we will receive a huge new family calendar. Usually, I cut out pictures of family that I want to keep from the calendar, copy family important dates and then I toss the calendar and buy a smaller wall one with nice pictures. 

Day after a stressful election

 All the energy, all the nerves, all the ads, all the hype have pasted. Election day was yesterday.

Pandemic is back and looks like we will have another long, dark winter. Today, no real results are in yet.

Some say results will not be in for at least  until Friday of this week.

Stress levels are high. Large cities like DC, Boston, NYC and Philadelphia have boarded up the downtown areas windows in case of riots. I want to hide, stick my head in the sand, or escape this torture. 

I listen to Classical WCRB and it helps the nerves. But, still my mind is running, always running the same picture of dark days ahead, brown shirts, guns, dictatorship, and more evil thoughts. 

Can the Nazi theories be forgotten? Are we headed in this mind blowing direction.

I must calm down. Shut down the computer and exercise some yoga. 

 It finally rained today, a nice slow and long lasting all day rain. We have been in drought conditions all Summer and Fall. So it is damp and cold outside, just like fall should be. But, I dream once again about the warm weather. I see myself sitting out on the deck with the sun warming my face and body.

Ah the warmth of summer. It will return next year. 

A Little more than a week to go for the national elections and pandemic is on the rise

 What me worry? Yes, I do worry. I lose my ability to sleep. I binge eat. I don't eat.

I stay inside and hide. I venture out, and come home scared.

Another long winter is coming with the winds of the pandemic blowing across the world. I can self-isolate with my man, did it before. But, I am making plans to have more hobbies, books, sewing projects etc about the house. I do not want to go down that dark tunnel of fear again.

I want to be happy, hug people, go out for a cocktail, go shopping, and mostly spend a day in my favorite museums. 

I can wear a mask. I try not to disturb non mask wearers. I do help senior cover their mask over their noses to keep them safe. 

What if the President wins a second turn. The upcoming election is almost here. What will I do if he wins again. A man that evil is dangerous. He threatens my lifestyle, my being and my husband.

Thank goodness the world has dark chocolate.  

The Good, the bad, and ugly.

The Good

 Oct 10,2020

The bad and the ugly:

The President was in the hospital for Covid but came out a few days later....cured! No need for any more masks. He wants no part of virtual debates. He is a better bull when he is live.

It just goes on and on. If I stop the newspaper, or the tv news , it goes on  and on in my brains.

Over and over, the news is tossed like river stones, but, these never get smooth. They bump along my cortex and cause lack of sleep.

A Very Pleasant Day

 Sunday. A peaceful day and a very pretty day with warm weather is here. Our national news has turned into a soap opera. It is all  pretty unbelievable. Trump in the hospital with Covid and eight people around him also have covid.  I wish him no evil thoughts. But, he deserves what he got. Pandemics are very serious and he has been playing with fire...no masks fire, and he got burned. He does not set a good example. 

But today is a beautiful day. Tea with Misty and Lee and a nice walk down to White Bridge.

Made myself for breakfast, toast and nice egg. We leave tomorrow for Jackson, NH for 2 nights. Our refrigeration is very empty. 

The Year of Whatever.Time Stands Still. Darkness Lurks.

 The sun is still warm and it is October 1. I sit outside and watch the bumble bees go in and out of their hive. They don't fly the bee line of  the honey bees. They fly in circles up and down and around. Sometimes it can take them five minutes of flying around to decide it is time to get inside the hive. Down they go into a hole is the ground that has two entrances side by side. I have heard that the Queen is the only bee to survive the winter. So maybe this is these bumblebees last hurrah. Good for them.

Even the warm and sunny day can not get me from this harsh depression I have entered into. It consumes me at times. I sit and stare and tell myself that I love you Barbara Milhender in repetition for minutes on end. Be kind to Barbara Milhender. She used to think she was tough. But, she knows that she has her soft spots to protect and keep the pain level down. That is the plan. 

The 2021 New Year's Resolution is 

                    "Talk Less and Listen More."

                    "Be Kind to everyone, including yourself."

When I think of this pandemic, I am so lucky it did not come when I was a teenager, twenty-ager, etc.

I have lived a wonderful life. Been to wonderful places, meet great people and truly enjoyed myself. 

I have indeed slowed down and not just in my movements. My brain has slowed down enough to listen to my thoughts. I can listen to  silence, I can list to a woodpecker far away in the forest. I can see deer tracks in my railed, walled herb garden. How rude. But all these things amuse me. I have a huge, really grand imagination. Years of my childhood, I lived in my imagination. I developed it. I nurtured it.

Do younger people ( under 70) have imaginations? Or use their imaginations? Or know about inward imaginations? 

What a boring time I would have during this stay at home period of the world! Yes, if I had no imagination, and I was 20...would go to parties. These kids need group stimulation on 24/7 and the internet gives them that and more. 

Back home, we walk into the marsh, play silly games, and observe our neighborhood birds. We make things with our hands. We read. We watch Public Television.

Yah, my life is boring, but good and safe. 

Dan Zak about Buddhist Mont and Moral Code

 

Outside the Supreme Court last week, two Tibetan Buddhist monks surveyed the flowers and messages for Ginsburg. “When people are consumed by fear, it gives rise to anger,” says Miranda Coates, who is affiliated with a temple in Poolesville, Md. “We need to be respectful but courageous. Everybody’s truth is shattered right now. It’s like the ground has been taken away from you. Where do you find refuge? You must come to your heart, your moral code.”

by 

Dan Zak

September 28, 2020 at 6:00 a.m. EDT Washington Post....

An Astronaut's View of Earth....

 This picture reminds me how small our earth is from space. Beautiful yes, but small. Inside our small globe we have war, hate, and starving people. We have homeless people, displaced people, and people fleeing their governments for fear of death. As small as it is, we have animals in great numbers becoming extinct, oceans polluted with plastic waste, and climate change fueling forest fires.

They say that we all have a common ancestor. Many, many years ago, we were one people. How does on ancient people become many separate peoples who hate each other for no good reason. How does a brother turn on a brother, and sister fight with her sister? How did that happen so many millions of years ago? Does hate grow more hate? Does fear make people weak? Does having food give someone the ability to dominate the starving? 

Where does all our bad behavior come from and why can't we control these feelings of superiority? Why can't we help each other, educate everyone and give everyone a fair share?

What is wrong with us? Where did we go wrong? Or have we always been this way. A bad experiment gone wrong. Evil, hateful, and sinners one and all.  Is that where we are?

Sad, just plain sad the state of our minds, bodies, and souls.

It is a dark time that we live in. Please let in the light, please help your neighbor, and please be kind. 

Peace Day 2020

 “Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say that I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us and the world will be as one.” —John Lennon

“When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.”
― Jimi Hendrix

“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.”
― Albert Einstein

“The day the power of love overrules the love of power, the world will know peace.”

― Mahatma Gandhi

A Day of Reckoning, A Day of Self Love, and a Day of Goodbyes

 Last night I woke myself up from a dream. My subconscious sent me a suggestion to use the rose petals for David's Farewell Ash Drop in the Little River. Thank you to myself. A great idea. I knew that I was drying these red roses for something, but, not for the house. Now, I know their purpose is to say goodbye to a great friend and teacher.

This morning, I took my coffee and sat on the side deck in my bathrobe and slippers. I took a deep breath and looked into a deep blue sky. The fires in the West have coughed our skies into a haze for the last few days. Today the sky was deep lucious blue. Clear again. For some reason, I started chanting I love you Barbara Milhender and kept chanting it for about twenty minutes. Tears streamed down my  face. For the first time in a pandemic time, I felt like myself and loved who I am, was, and will be. I looked under the trees, and my stone buddha in the garden stolicly sat in mediation. 

It was just me in the universe. Blue skies and me. I felt so strong.

I then started to change May I be kind, may I have nourishment, and may I have peace. Then, I repeated this for ten minutes. Finally, I woke up to me. I drank some now cold coffee. 

I smiled, at me for me, and for all the people I love, and for the people of the world. 

A beautiful Sunday had started.  

 

A Sad New Year but looking for to a Good Year

 Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg died yesterday at the age of  87. It is said that if a person dies on Rosh Hashanah that they were a very special and noble person. She was a feminist, who helped women, and worked for the common man during all her years.

Now the battle for Trump to replace her in the short time left before the election starts in earnest.  

I hope that New Year brings closure to the Pandemic, elects a kinder, intelligent President, and that kindness will rule again around the world.

I know that this might not happen, but, I must stay positive. It is so much more productive than negativity.

I pray for peace for all people. I pray that all people have adequate food supply, I pray that all people have shelter. I pray that all people are kind. I pray that all people treat all people as equals. I pray that loving, caring people will rule the universe. 

Big Mac Trump Leaves me Speechless

 

This is A Pandemic Not Lent

 

Tony Bennett &Diana Krall, Love is here to Stay...cd playing

I was talking to my neighbor who told me that he is giving up wine, and beer for the pandemic. Another friend is painting for the pandemic. My husband is learning french and I am loving on line jigsaw puzzles.

I have stopped buying the huge dark chocolate bars. That was only for early pandemic.  You know candy and toilet paper era. Shopping now is more normal as normal can be. Masks, missing sold out items...

such as brillo pads, paper towels, and plastic wrap. It is all very strange. How can there be a run on brillo pads. Are people shining their pots for pandemic? 

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Wonderful music to contemplate life, the world and nature. Soft, pretty, nice rhythm and brushes on the drums.  

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Fall is moving forward. It is a beautiful day with some wind, sun, and warm in the sun.

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Sept 11, Nineteen years later.

 

 Sept 11, 19 years ago, it was early morning and I sat at my office desk drinking coffee. My boss called me on his cell phone. He was driving into work. All he said was " Barbara turn on your radio". That is how I learnt that the World Trade Center had been attacked.

Soon, all company members were advised to go to the dining room.A small Television had been set up. We watched as our world fell apart. Looking back on this day, this is when our country changed. This is when a good country turned away from its citizens. This is the day that our country turned dark.

We started a bad war in Afghanistan and Iraq which has lasted over 19 years later. Many lives have been destroyed or killed. Walking wounded vets come home with mental problems and loss of limbs.

People in the country wanted a change and voted for Trump who won and in four year, has destroyed our country even more. These past four years have been very stressful as this mad man destroys the democratic government that we once had.

He did nothing when the Corna 19 virus was killing hundreds of people in China. He told us to drink bleach. He refused to wear masks and his followers mirrored his bad behavior.   The Pandemic came and businesses closed, people lost their jobs, and people died. 

Six months of this Pandemic and people are still dying. The country has cities are rioting. National Guard and Police are shooting and killing people. 

I don't know what I will do if Trump wins the election this November or if he loses and refuses to step down. I just don't know what I will do.

It is a dark day and I think a storm is coming.

Tony Bennett and Diana Krall "Love is Here to Stay playing on the cd.

 Great Sound, duet sound, mellow, soft, love songs are in stereo earphones. Outside it is a very quiet Labor Day.in Newbury. Newburyport was crazy with lost people, cars, and pedestrian. I believe the Term is "Gridlocked" . 

Don't ask why I decided to drive into the thick of it. I had not left the house for days. I was getting a bad case of case of cabin fever. I have had it several times, and I must say that it is not pretty. So on I went to Green Street.  I did not get too far down Green St. Near the Funeral Home, traffic was at a dead stop.

Someone further down Green Street was made an illegal u town on a one way road. Traffic sat. I sat. Right off Green Street I banged a right turn, another right turn by the Pleasant St. Had the right of way at Green and Pleasant, I zoomed out and after a view scenic turns, I was out on High St, which in Newbury changes the name to RT1A. I was almost home. Quiet, save, and comfortable home. 

Picture: my dried rose petals, misc. small bowls, and Wild Orchid  stamp cover. They are all that is was left of my Green Belt Projects over the last three plus weeks. It is good to volunteer. It is healthy to get out of the house. Fresh Air ...oh mama, that's great.  I am saving them for an art project. 

From Washington Post Picture of the Week....Man Flies his Ballons

 I so wish I could fly. Planes are grounded during this pandemic. I do dream occasionally about flying... it has also been my favorite dreams. To be able to lift off the ground and take off like a bird. What could be wrong with that?

I wonder if I would be afraid to fly in space. Surrounded by black darkness. Doubt it, I think flying in blue skies is more my still.

The strangest and coolest thing about this pandemic is what is has done to our environment. Venice canals are blue now. Air pollution is at its lowest levels in years. Wildlife is returning to places that were toxic and now are clean. 

Is it that easy to clean up our messy earth? Stop the cars, planes, manufacturing and other bad activities and the earth will clean itself up? I wish it was that easy to eliminate all plastics from the oceans, and the lands. Ban its use. Ban plastic diapers, ban plastic toys, and just go back to nature.

I know this is just a dream, but you have to dream to start thinking of way to improve our earth.  

Rock, Paper, Sissors

 Rounder Records 2007 IBMA Sample

Good singing, picking and toe tapping music. Sitting at my desk with wet hair and no motivation to move, or do anything constructive. 

Vacation moved to Fall 2011. Who knew when we booked this trip in 2019, that we would have to keep postponing this trip. We did finally cancel the air and got the refund. But, that is not the point. We are in limbo. Life as we knew it has stopped. No place to go, no museums to visit, no inside restaurant are open.

Scissors, such a handy device and tool. I have at least seven   pairs of scissors. A small one for cutting paper pictures,, a large scissor with a broken handle, a pair of sewing scissors that have horse teeth for material, two sharp scissors for material, tiny scissors in my jack knife, a small scissor for cutting threads while doing embroidery, I don't have any as pretty as this one.

 I am a practical gal after all.

Jig Saw Puzzles and The Mystery of Life

 Norah Jones Not to Late

Such beautiful song I hear while I play a colorful Jigsaw puzzle online. Then the cd player stopped working in my computer. I need things to be simplified in my life. Not just my life, but, my tools, computer, phone, and anything else with computers inside it. 

 That said, I move on. 

 

Relaxation, and Reading

There always comes a time of the day to relax. Enjoy the scenery, sip a good drink and read a nonfiction,educational book about women artists. Compared to these women, I have lived the life of riley.

These women decided to have careers in art in a era that no woman would consider working outside the home with a good man.

These women gave up having children, lived under poverty conditions, and never gave up.

They organized their own art shows, and took no prisoners. They were tough women and were resented by the males piers they worked with. During the wars they took on men's jobs,  and after the wars, they would lose their good paying jobs because the soldiers coming home need those jobs. Were they second class citizens? They were fighters. They had talent. They had determination. 

As I sit on my desk sipping my bourbon, I wonder if I could have done what they accomplished. Could I  am not sure.

Spending the Pandemic in my Fabulous Back Deck

 I have spent hours, days, weeks sitting quietly on the back deck. I read, watch baby birds, and I meditate on reducing my stress level. I have become more observant of the obvious. I notice new and exciting things about our neighborhood birds, I know where the nests are, and see the baby's feathers change slowly to adult colors. I can tell when a hawk is near by, the birds react and freeze in their spots. They stay frozen for up to 15 minutes until they hear the the coast is clear sound coming from the other birds.

This is the back yard that I dreamed of as a young child. Three seed feeders, two hummingbird feeders, two birth baths and in the winter suet.  Of course I never thought about the racoons harvesting the humming bird's nectar, or the deer eating out hostas. The ants and spiders who always journey through our house.Then there is the occasional mouse nest in the cars. This year I had a hornet nest in my right side mirror and a nice big nest in my trunk. The stings hurt my pride and my trust in nature. But we go on.

The skunks usually keep a low profile. Turkey's  love to dig in my herb garden in the spring when the perennials are very tender. One woodchuck appear this spring and then we never saw him again. Good news. They can clear out a garden overnight.  

We no longer see any honey bees in our yard. Miss these creatures. Years ago, we were one of the many beekeepers in the area. 

The dragonflies have been few this year. Also, the butterflies have be very limited. Could be the extreme heat? No shure. We do have an underground nest of miniature bumble bees. 

 In this back yard, it is so easy to follow the seasons, come and go. Birds migrate, baby turkeys appear, hummingbirds all disappear overnight to migrate south.

Everybody Gets the Blues

 

Listened to a tribute to James Taylor on U Tube, Dr. John and Taj Mahal and band were playing it and the music was nice and loud and bluesey. 

    

Everybody Sings The Blues

from Poets, Philosophers, Workers, & Wanderers

Well I may not be the smartest man

That ever walked on earth

And some of what’s gone well for me

Might be an accident of birth

Oh but deep inside the mystery

Surrounding me and you

Is something I have come to know

And hold as deeply true

Well you may be a woman

From the right side of town

Going out evenings in the finest of gowns

But one thing’s for certain

No matter the shoes

Sooner of later

Everybody sings the blues

Well you may be erudite

Or a real cool cat

A high priced jet-setter

Going this way and that

Ah but one thing’s for certain

You know it ain’t news

Sooner or later

Everybody sings the blues

Oh, lonely, we all get lonely some times

There’s nothing anyone can do

Hang on, for just another day

And hope that you’ll get through

Well you may be ironic

You may be a clown

You may swear that you’ll never wear

Your smile upside down

Oh but one thing’s for certain

Whether you win or lose

Sooner or later

Everybody sings the blues

© 2013, 2017 – Joe Jencks, Turtle Bear Music ASCAP

A Flash of Color

 

Sometimes when I am sad, I go out to my side deck and try to relax. Today, I was gifted a flash of color. Two seconds of bright orange and then they were gone. Two Baltimore Oreos playfully flew by and flashed their colors to brighten my day. Then I spotted high in a tree, a hummingbird. A dot of wonder above my head was preening its feathers. How can I be sad after nature sends me its glory in the morning?

The Pandemic is still here. Life, new life is now the way we live. Masks in hand, we proceed to shop for our weekly groceries. This coming week, I am attending a zoom baby shower for a friend. It all seems normal and familiar now. 

We changed our Seine River trip for the third time yesterday. First it was May 2020, then September 2020, and now September 2021. There is no sadness, just a longing to be somewhere else, doing things we have never done. 

Day by day, we are falling into a rhythm. Jigsaw puzzles online, reading the virtual Washington Post, and visiting with my familiar animal world in my backyard. Step by step, it feels like the new normal.

I bought flowers yesterday, to brighten up the house. Something new in our home. A flash of color to greet us in the morning while we drink our coffee.  

I long for my old life, but, know that with this is my new life. Time to smell the roses.

 

May I be Quiet and Listen

 may i be quiet and listen

Thought for the day. After doing my yoga exercises, I realised how nice the world would be if everyone became silent. Silent and just listened. How easy would that be. It has always be a puzzle to me why so many people talk and talk but never listen. How can they learn about their friends and neighbors? How can then learn about their sister's, nieces, and cousins, brothers, and uncles or even lovers and friends.

Time for listening  to others. We all need to be able to talk and share a conversation. But 

remember that conversation is a two way process. Talk less and listen more. It is not hard. It is a kind way to communicate. Don't hog the conversation. 

My Mom

 

My mother when she was a small, weak elderly woman would ask to hold my hand. She would look down at my hands. Hands that never saw a manicure, arthritic hands, hands that worked hard. She would look up to me and say "Your hands are so strong, theses are hands that do work. I love these hands."

My mother had beautiful handwriting before her arthritis ruined her fingers and hands. I found this postcard which she wrote her notes on glaciers many years ago. It was wonderful to find a piece of her so many years after her death. She was a curious person. Always trying to figure out how machines work, or how to fix chipped champagne glasses. She knew that my father was not clever in these ways. She would watch his frustration on not fixing something. She left him alone to his agony. When he walked away from this project. She would sit down and think for abit. She would turn the item over, look at all the pieces. Then she would fix it. Put it away and days later, My father would be shocked to see it fixed and he would thank her. She would smile and know she saved the day for him and did not embrasse him. She was a kind and loving wife.

Carry On Sweet Girl And See the New Normal as Normal.

 Yesterday's jig saw puzzle that I completed  online. So pretty and meditational. It makes me want to fly away with this swallow tail butterfly. The butterflies in our yard have been spare this summer. We did have a swallow tail yesterday visit our gardens. The weather, the birds, flowers, and animals are off their schedules this strange summer of 2020. 

I have learnt to be more patient, quiet, and self dependent during this pandemic. There is little need to purchase things. We do purchase groceries, wine, and such. Clothing is on the bottom of the list. I don't dress in anything but hawaiian shirts,t shirts and shorts. Sock and shoes are very optional. I do wear my french knot sun hat hat outside. Most days, I just wear my summer bathrobe that is a blue and white kimono with butterflies on it. It is cool, collected,  and comfy.

I also have learnt about the friends that matter most to me. The ones who make me laugh, think, and are extremely kind.

We eat pretty simple foods. Lots of salads, lots of fruit smoothies with yogurt and lots of fish and other proteins. 

I have been practicing different manuel settings on my camera. I shoot less, throw out more and keep the best results. I am happy with what I shot. Mostly everything I shot is local. Very local. Why travel when it is safe, and beautiful in my own back yard.

My Yoga teacher has encouraged me to self practice yoga at home. I have blended some of my old back exercises but, do mostly yoga on my back and I am working on making my belly strong and small.

I am happier lately. The dark days of early self quarantine have passed. I take joy in nature all day long. 

So I carry on with my masks. and six feet apart and no museums, no trips and no real restaurant experiences.  I carry on with loving who I am and improving my health and my back. I carry on forward...what else is there to do?

Ice Cream is my sweet dream

Ice cream has always been my go to....when I was unhappy. As a child, I remember sneaking downstairs to have a private ice cream fest. I can remember ice cream at Howard Johnson's with my  New York cousins who were visiting us. I was pretty young and I picked a new flavor....Strawberry.

I started to eat it until I my tongue rain into a frozen and hard strawberry. My dear cousin saw my disappointment and was kind enough to switch cones...back to safe chocolate.

I love eating ice cream cones outside when the temperature is hot, hot, hot. The melted ice cream cools my mouth and soothes my soul.

Over the years, I have gone from plain ice cream to brands with funny names and funny flavors. But, I always come back to chocolate. 

Summer ain't summer with out ice cream.....just saying

Note To My Back (if you are listening)

Above is my sister's birthday present. It is a perfect mug for coffee  in the morning with attitude.

Hello to my back. This is just an update for you. I have been doing the Pt. exercises now for months and my body is no stronger than when I started. I have now stop medical marijuana for over 2 months. i think the smoke fools my body that it is working at relaxing me. I want it to relax on its own. MJ does work will for the pain.  

My Yoga teacher has been doing zoom during the pandemic. I tried one class and it just was not the same as a real sesson. She started doing Outdoor Yoga at the Atkinson Common in Newburyport. A beautiful setting. Complete with a civil  war statue, fountain, ancient trees and open greens.  My back hurt the next day, but my body came alive again. The dormant muscles woke up, and gently stretched. Oh what a good feeling. 

I try to love this 70 plus old body filled with arthritis. But arthritis give no advance warning to the pain, and I try to be alone with the pain. So, I self isolate and this was going on way before this Pandemic. 

Then, I get depressed, then my pain get worse. Then I tend to curl up and sleep. This is my routine. I know this is not good. 

I used to enjoy biking to Newburyport and go to small streets and check out people's gardens and the fabulous architecture of first period homes. Two years ago, I was stopped drinking water near the Newbury Upper Green, and I fell over. How can you fall over when you are stopped on a bike. One year ago, I dusted the bike of and started to go to Newburyport. I go only to Green Street, ten minutes from my house. I was tired, I needed to rest, the hills had exhausted me. So I stood with my bike between my legs and  rested. Again, my body collapsed and I crashed to the street, lost my breathe, and had the bike on top of me. I was bleeding on my knee and elbows. I wiped off the blood and continued to ride for five minutes, when I stopped my bike and sat on a rock and rested. I must have looked very pathetic as, a few bikers stopped me to see if I need help. So, since that time I lost my love for racing through a beautiful city and enjoying its splendor.

Well, I have not been on my bike since. My back has been bad, my body has been screaming at me.

I wake up in the morning, and I walk slowly down stair with a body that creaks, pops,  and hursts.

So seeing my husband go out biking is hard. It reminds me of the wind in my face, and joys of biking.

I try to walk. My left foot is a mess and by the time I finish, my body is finished for the day. I started having shots in my back. This has really helped the arthritis in my back. Oh, it is a miracle. But,

it only lasts for a few months and then, yes, then the reality of my arthritis comes back.

So, today is a red letter day. I took the advice of  Chris, my yoga teacher. She showed me safe ways to do more yoga moves on my back. Came home sore, but, a good sore.  Today, I did not do my PT exercises, but, did some modified yoga. Damn, I feel alive now. My body , my mind, my back will all agree,,,,this worked.

Chris is a fine teacher, she is kind, gentle and so intelligent. I send her namastes  today for her kindness and for being in my life.

The Many Colors of Green in Summer Heat

July is almost over. Big bug season is gone. How fast the summer goes. The warm sand under my feet, the thrill of Air Conditioning, and deep blue skies. There are no outdoor baseball games his summer. There is no Yankee Homecoming this week. The Topsfield Fair has cancelled its 2020 fair. All casualties caused by the Great Pandemic of 2020, the Covid 19 Virus, and many illnesses and deaths.

I wear my mask. I avoid crowds. I shop only at safe, well organized stores and I only have driven my car less than ten times this summer. There is no where to go. Nothing to do. Stay home, and I stay home and garden, read books, do jigsaw puzzles, watch baby birds in our yard, and relax. That is my schedule.

Walking to white bridge this July, I celebrate the many colors of green plants. The light color of green in the spring, the shiny vibrant color of poison ivy, and deep green of the leaves of mature trees.Green is such a warm and relaxing color. 

White Bridge is my favorite neighborhood walk this time of year. The Great Marsh is filled with birds, smells of hay, and my skin warms to the touch of the sun. The tides come into Little River, and rush out at after high tide is over. The water's colors change during the in tides. Always moving the water sings out to me. How can one place be so tranquill, so beautiful and so close to my house. I love my neighborhood. Sure we have tons of bugs, deer, and bunnies in our yard. They eat expensive plants and love our hostas. But, I would not change thing about where I live. It suits my personality.

It gives me strength, peace, and much wisdom.

Quiet Times Early Morning Before the Heat

 Watching nature and drinking my soothy, pretending that I did not fall out of bed last night.

No need to worry, I won't do that again. I am working on calming my body and my self.

Decide to open the umbrella.  Notice some grass on the table. Find the mouse nest. We knock it down and pretend this is not annoying. Calm and collected, I finish my smoothly and leave the wet, moist heat. Opening the door the the house, I sigh and feel the cool air kiss my legs. 

I do all my exercises. My remember to give myself a gold star.