Wrong, wrong, and wrong. Drove half way to Andover and noticed that I should have gotten my car inspection in September. Today is almost the end of December. How did I space that out. Granted, I have driven so few days in my car this year. But, this pandemic brain, thinks you are doing fine. Just fine. Then you look in the mirror to find a tired, washed out face...that is your reflection.
Sure, it has been depressing. Staying at home month after month. So many things to worry about. This year's election, Trump's giant leap into madness, the economy, empty shelves at the grocery store and the loss of being able to sleep soundly and wake up refreshed. All gone.
That happy content feeling, is gone, all gone and the feeling is of emptiness, loneliness, and sadness. I started to notice how odd people act in the stores. Then I realized that I act odd outside, there is an inherent nervousness about me and those around me. I wonder down the supermarket lanes, confused, looking for something but not really knowing what I need or want or why I wander through this store. Is it to see people? Be with people? Am I that lonely, sad, and desperate?
There was some joy watching Biden win the election. But then Trump still refused to say he lost the election. The news of the new corona shots should thrill me, but, I can't get my head off my pillow.
I drag around my body. My body aches mostly from arthritis but, it also aches because I am so unhappy.
Is there any end in sight. This coming winter will be bad. The virus is on its second wind. People still refuse to wear a simple mask to protect themselves and others.
With the help of friends and neighbors, we will make it thought the winter. But, come spring, our economy, our nation, and ourselves will be exhausted. We will bury the dead, and move on to a new economy, a much smaller population, fewer restaurants and shops. We will move on.
First we dig and then we move on. ConEdison was right about that.
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