“Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.”

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Patience is not the ability to wait, but the                                                                                                                      a

ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.” 

      thoughts on growing old.........................................................

Is it just me, but, I don't knew where all these stupid National Holidays ;have come from. Really Hot Dog Day?   I am old, and I don't remember one of these holidays growing up in the 50s, 60s, or 70s.

Starting to feel more like my old self more often. First Yoga, Friday, and Saturday, cleaned up the new Evelyn garden 3/4 cut back day liliesnb .

And by the way, WHO AM I? Who I have become?  What is this new me? It is a lot like the old me but, it is more energized, so much less of pain, and more smiles.. 

Reincarnation...of my soul and being into who I was before and stronger now.

Lost Morning and Thoughts All Over the Place. Wish it would rain.

Drought in Massachusetts ,we have had no rain in over a month. Everything in the gardens are turning brown. Topsfield River drying up in areas, and local friends wondering if their wells will go dry.

For some color, we visited the Hat Museum which is in the Whittier Museum in Amesbury.

Years ago, a thriving hat factory operated in  Amesbury. It employed hundreds of works. This small museum is on the second floor of the John Greenleaf Whittier Home and Museum in Amesbury, MA.

Most of these antique hats were made in the Twenties, and Thirties. They are a wonder and joy to view.

 

Helicopter Hummingbirds And Marihuana Laced Seltzer Water

Cowboys and Indians

Evelyn Trilling Milhender , 16 year book picture.

 I have been smoking a lot of our own home grown weed lately. My body, after two major operations is stiff. So, I smoke to relax the muscles and retrain them to work, and relax.

Some morning I wake up and ever after the morning coffee, I still  am rather spacy. I can live with this if my body and all its muscles are regaining skills, and strength. 

Some time during this August's record breaking HEAT WAVE, I stopped  doing my knee exercise. I was having a lot of sciatic nerve pain from my left side of my lower back down the leg and ending in the burning sensation in my left foot. The burning lasts long than the electric wave of pain going down my leg. It feels like being hit by lightning and can't be stopped once it starts.

Sometime, I can't use my left leg as the pain is so great. I must wait for the storm to pass, and then cautiously try the first step with my left foot.

So I puff the magic dragon and go on with my life. My mother Evelyn taught me so many life lessons, it is hard for me not to miss her since her death at 96. She lived way too long. She had many strokes before she died. The Last time I visited her, she was having great difficulty speaking. We sat in her living room and watch the black and westerns that she so loved. I could from her face that she was thinking hard how to communicate with me. Then she smiled at me and made clicking noises with her tongue. Slowly I understood the sounds she was making, they were the noise a horse makes as they walk. Click, click, click and click. I love her so much.

A long and winding road.

 

After my surgeries, I made a few goals. 

 First I wanted to ride my bike by July 1, 2022, then I wanted to get strong, and I also wanted to lose weight and finally, I wanted to engage in nature every day.

Ready for my first time on the bike in three years, as I walked down the stair to the cellar, I  got  nauseous and thought I was going to throw up.. It was all nerves and fears. I did not throw up and I rode my bike 1 mile round trip. The ride did not last long, but did it before the 4th, second trip I rode my bike farther and went 3.3 miles round trip. Two days ago, I walked and rode my bike to Newburyport and back home...at least 6.3 miles. I rod the street and sections of two of the 3 bike trails in town. I rested on the waterfront and talked to strangers and felt the cool sea breeze on my back.

Yes, I am getting strong. But still anytime my sciatic nerve calls, I get very depressed. No advance warning. No time to sit down or prepare an escape route. Step by step I get my old self back and invent my new self.   

Gift from Nature

 My introduction to Japanese Forest  Bathing had its ups and downs. Our Guide for the day arranged an  interesting walk through Mosley Woods in Newburyport. I never walked into the woods of this park before today. This park must be a favorite of all the neighborhood dogs. Herds of dogs, arrived and  their owners unleashed them. The dogs were all friends and came in all sizes and shapes. 

We waited on a picnic table that was opposite the children's' swings, and climbing dinosaurs' sculptures, and we faced the Merrimack River and the RT 95 bridge. Lola our guide arrived and gave us the history of Japanese Forest Bathing .

She slowly walked down a rather well used trail then went straight down by the river. heel to toe, each step deliberate, and quietly. No talking was allowed. We were to absorb the special medicinal properties of these trees. It was unfortunate that the traffic sound from the bridge muted the silence. The hum of traffic was loud and very hard to ignore. We walked up hills, down hills, past ponds, and streams. I was very glad that I brought a walking stick. 

As I walked, I had to watch the ground for tree roots and large stone to avoid falling. I found a oak tree puff ball which I put into my side pocket. Next came a very small green and yellow leaf, then some lichen and some tree bark. I was going to add these treasures to a very small birds nest that I found at Spencer Little Farm. The picture is above. It is filled with horse and donkey hair. The farm has many sheep, chickens, one retired race horse, one old donkey, many goats, and huge old pigs. I plan to add some of these items to my "hobbit home that my husband presented to me a few years ago on my birthday. It needs a few touch up items.

After our walk, Lola, served us lemon tea and gave us tiny bottles of essence of trees. 

I prefer to Forest bath in my back yard. We are lucky to share our stone wall with 500 acres of forest that can never be built on. We have lots of deer, racoon, and other curious animals who come to visit. 

I sit on my favorite chair on the deck and slowly breathe in the forest, baby birds are around, including hummingbirds, and chickadees. It is very pleasant sitting here. Being at one with nature. I love where I live. No highway noise, some cars, a few motor bikes, lots of boys in latex, and an hourly train.

I am so lucky that I am here. It is beautiful, mostly quiet, and so very private.  

Back in the Quite Zone

 Home again. Stressed out in the outer world of family, sickness, and stupidity. 

Breathe in and out...slowly, close the eyes, let the light shine.

One would think that flying thru clouds would open one' s mind. Seeing nature from high above the earth. I would think that it would give my mind the clarity of wisdom. 

Instead, it takes to places of sadness, illness, loneliness, greed and emptiness.  

Airports of my youth were a gateway to the wonders of the world. Step on the stairs and up to the skies you go. You wake up to new worlds, people, and wonders.

The "modern" airport is more of a people mover. Line after line, following the maze, take your shoes off, walk through glitter shopping malls, and waiting and waiting till the silver plane takes you back to the clouds and to new or old destinations.

I am tired, I traveled and found sadness, sickness, and sorrow. I came home to an empty feeling.

Each morning I take my coffee cup and sit on my back deck. I watch the baby birds, mother birds, quiet birds, loud mouth birds, acrobat birds, and birds of all sizes and colors.

I breathe in and out and I am so glad I am home to the quiet.