Trump wins and where we go into WW3

 

Why I don't love my brother in law

He is rude, and says bad things. He only thinks of himself. He does not listen. He just talks and talks about nothing. He is bitter. I think I nailed it. 

Happy Birthday to you Kenny,  you are my favorite dick head...

My School Years

I was born in Newton, and raised in West Newton, Ma. I went to the Franklin Elementary School. It was a short walk from Rangley Road to the school. I don't remember much about the school. I remember watching educational TV on WGBH on a tiny tv in the classroom.  It was a short walk to the school and I would walk with my older sister Judy. My reading skills  were not good. At summer camp, I  had a reading tutor who would push my skills to above the next grade level and back at school, my grade level would slowly drop below the other students by the end of the school year. Back at camp I learnt to read and back at school, I forgot how to read. 

People were nice in West Newton. Small Town and we had a synagogue  that had a wonderful Sunday School. Newton had a large Jewish population. I was extremely shy, but, I always felt safe.

The summer after  4th Grade we moved to Western MA to Springfield , MA. A big city with buses and a very busy downtown. My new elementary school was very old. We had a playground that was all gravel.

My 5th grade teacher was very nice but she was sick a lot and we had many different substitute teachers.

There were tough guys in my class. Mean little kids. Name calling kids. I learnt what it meant to be different. I learned that I killed Jesus, and learnt  about prejudice  people. There was a lot of name calling, and scary stuff going on. I went to Sunday School at Temple. People there were nice. Teachers were interesting. I started to make friends. We were not near the school and I had a long walk every day. I moved to Forest Park Junior High School in 7th Grade. It was a very large and very old school. I never felt safe there. But I did make a friend and enjoyed girl scout activities.  I attended 7th and 8th grade in Springfield.  I was never happy there. I started to pull out all my eyelashes. Time after time, I  walked to school with red swollen eyes. 

We moved to Wellesley Hills and I started 9th grade in a very nice new school. I was placed in the band home room.  The band would practice during home room time. I would be the only kid left in the room.  I never knew why someone would place a new kid in the home room  where  I had not chance to meet anyone and make friends. The school had a wonderful new gym, lunch room and even golf classes for gym. I hated it. I hated it all. Again, I had no friends. I did things by myself. 

The next year I moved to Wellesley Senior High School. My sister was in 11th grade and I was in 9th grade.  I did not fit in. I did not wear the in rich kid clothes. I was not cool. We had to take a school bus every morning and night. I hated walking down the halls, I knew I did not fit in. I could tell that I was different.  There was four other  jewish kids in my class. The rest of the school were old money Yankees. Cold, unfriendly people.

Fall is my favorite time of year to go to the beach.

 

My dark Shadow

 I feel that my dark shadow which has been with me since my sister died, is going away. Grief is a slow and personal time. It comes and goes without my control. But, lately I feel lighter, more joyful, and happier. My back is stronger, I am walking with confidence and there is a bounce in my walk now. 

I am learning water color painting, continuing  with my art journal, and still blogging to myself. 

Fall has arrived, the feather comforter is on the  bed and I have started switching my Hawaiian shirts and shorts to fleece jackets and layers.

I go into this new years a different person, a person more confident and alive. Judy has asked me to start living again by ringing my outside bell and I am going forward. Miss you Judy.

Fall Arrives With Rain

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 First day of Fall and the weather is cooler, rainier, and windier.

The change of season is never good news to my body. Changes cause pain in hands, back and attitude.

I finished my first watercolor that I liked. Free style. Cooked lentil vegetable soup last night. It had no tomatoes in it. I had harisa for some tomato flavor, and it also spiced up the soup.

Today Lee had a surprise birthday brunch. Bagels, and Donuts. How could you go wrong. Zoey was the door greater. 

Glenn thinks its time I have a neighborhood party. Maybe for Halloween.

I am back taking walks. Feels so good.

  Nothing is better than spending time out in nature. This Fall has been very dry, but very wonderful. Great weather for walking, hanging out on the deck, and reading outside. 

Losing a sister is harder than going thru medipause

There is no end to the grief and sadness. No advance warning if cying and sorrow.

Art Journal is keeping me sane (well almost)

I took a Susan Spellman class on art journaling. From the get go, I loved it. Her advice was "draw like you were in kindergarten. Fabulous advise. When I am journaling my mind is open to all and any ideas that fly around my mind. I purchased water color pens, notebook and  to France to cruise on a canal boat. Very relaxing. I was still very much grieving my sister Judy's passing. 

So, I stayed on the boat as she slowly glided down the canal. Slowly, a person could walk faster than this boat. I sat on the open front deck between the hot tub and the front door. There were tables and chairs there. I loved thee spot, the quiet, the waves, the skies, the frogs, the birds,,,I loved it. My mind was open to art colors, shapes, and my journal. What joy. What a gift Susan gave me. She gave me a door that opened my mind to joy, and took away  hours of sadness. 

She gave me peace.

Spring has sprung.

 

The flocks of birds are coming back all together.  Hummingbirds, Baltimore Oreos, Goldfinch, Phoebe, chickadees, titmice, pileated woodpecker, Great Egrets, and many more. We leave tomorrow night, to fly to France for a vacation.  Looking forward to great food, Almost forgot to mention the eclipse.

Summer Moves on

 It has been either very dry or very wet here this summer. 

Turning 75 Gracefully

 I admit that there is no way that I am going to enjoy turning 75. It is just a number, and it does not scare me.  What scares me is losing my memory, losing love ones, and  not riding my bike. I have a few cautions around me. Do puzzles....it improves your memory. Ha, shurley they jest. 

Loving nature, I have watched the trees around me grow. Once they get their roots in place, the spring up and add limbs, branches, and aim for the sky. I am still aiming for the sky. The blue sky we take for granted. 

Nature is my god. 
 

Back to Gardening and a full life

It has been such a long time since I could spend time working on my gardens. My back or my knees stopped this activity that I loved. Weeding is not fun, but not being outside has given me hours of depression. One hour with the birds, chipmonks, and other creatures always awaken my soul. I can truly say that being in nature is my way of releasing my anzities, and sadness in my soul...

So this memorial day, I celebrate my return to my gardens, and return to have the strength in my legs, knees and back to work and weed and plant. Joy to thee world. 

 

Sandy Point State Park view of Cranes Beach

 Yesterday, it was a very cold, breezy day and Dru and I went to Sandy Point to walk the beach and collect plastic junk, rope, and old soda cans. We were dressed warmly but, the cold breeze on our faces was brutal. There was a family group fishing, and a couple just enjoying their walk on this beautiful and deserted beach. 

I love walking and talking, and helping clean up this beach. The air is salty, Usually there are a lot of shore birds around.  But it is early in the season and the birds are smarter than humans and keep warm and comfortable and stay out of this cold wind.

Soon, the beach people will reclaim this beach. Families and lovers, will get up at 6am to claim a parking space in the small parking area. Their reward will be a beautiful uncrowded beach filled with nature and beauty.

This could be my desk or my brain, you can pick it.

I 

 New laptop, new keyboard, back feeling great at 7:14pm.  My guys are almost all moved into the office. Hi guys and welcome home.  I can truly say that  I am very relaxed.  At 4pm I ate 1/2 small piece of chocolate surprise. Surprise!

I am typing slow and acurately. Calm, breathing, typing, planning, tidying and quiet. Very quiet. 

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spring, and Feeling Lighter in My Soul

 I miss Judy. She is part of me. I will never let her go. But my time of grieving has passed. I no longer hold her suffering and pain in my heart. I have released her pain and suffering since she is free from all pain and suffering. Her favorite color was blue. I see her everywhere. 

Spring  fever is now in my Soul.  Birds are coming with songs of joy. Slowly the tree will reveal their new leaves, flowers will open and light rain will come. The chilled earth will  soon be warming up and winter will go away till next year. 

I took two years of dust from my bike and plan to ride it soon. I am happy. I am content.I am feeling stronger. 

I am uncluttering or trying to unclutter my surroundings. I am changing and I love the changes. I feel so much more today than yesterday.  

Fear of Cycling

My first adult bike I bought second hand from a lady in Salisbury. At that time, I lived in an old house and I lived under the eaves in the attic. I paid $150.00 rent per month. it was small but very functional. I had a small bedroom that had window down near the floor, the bathroom had a small tube that was under the eaves. To shower I had to position my head away from the roof eves and bend my knees. It was like playing the old game called twister. the kitchen had an old deep sink, old stove/and gas heater.bit had a full size window with a view of my neighbor's pool. I had room for a small table. The living room had a full set of windows and also a small area  with a tight space and small window. In the summers, I would get home from work, put in my back king clothes and ride around town until dusk when the apartment started to cool off.it was not an inconvenience, it just was one way of dealing with a hot  apartment that was wicked cheap.

After a wonderful brunch at a friends cottage, I got onto my bike and tried to ride to plum island. At Hanover Street crossing, my shoelace got tangled into my spokes. I was In front of a truck, and panicked used my brakes and flipped my bike under the back wheels of the truck. The driver was inching up to the intersection and his tires started to put pressure on my bike and my body. I screamed and he stopped. He moved his truck off me and pulled me and the bike (now a mess) out for under his truck. Police came and used a knife to check my knees, and destroy my new designer jeans. An ambulance came and I got x rays at the hospital and was badly bruised but did not break any bones. 

Years later, I bought my current bike used from a friend. I used that bike for many years until before my knee replacements. But I had two falls from that bike. My second fall is the scary one. I was stopped and standing with my bike between my legs when my knees failed me and I fell over my leg with my body under the bike. 

After my two knee replacements, I rode my bike only twice. I was scared and walked and rode the bike on the rail train. 

On the next sunny warm day, I will go out with Glenn and try the bike out again. I really want to be able to rent bikes in France for our upcoming trip. 

I felt if I wrote about my accidents  on my bike, I would lose some of the fear. We will see. 

A COOL AND BREEZY WALK TO WHITE BRIDGE

There is very little snow left but the cold wind  is very invigorating. It is not a very long walk. But I love walking from my house  to the bridge and Little River. Full Moon tonight and the high tide was rushing in. I do hope there is not flooding of Newman Road again.  There were only a few birds out. They were chicadees and they were having a grand time flying around in the wind. I decorated the large bolts on the bridge with a few halloween finger puppets. They are looking down onto the river. My silly friend left me six of these creatures in my mail box today. She now has one one top of her mail box. HA HA.

My high blood pressure has gone down to a respectable number (I hope)Yesterday was 138/82.

I am sleeping very good these days. I have caught up on the sleep I lost when my sister died, and for weeks and months after her funeral. Guess I was burnt out.

Life is so short, and we never know when it will end. I guess that was the original plan. 

My sister knew she was dying. She called me on Monday of the week she departed this Earth. We had a wonderful talk. We said what had to be said. 

And then the call came. We fly to DC and went through the process of saying good buy. Everyone grieves their own way. There is no right or wrong grieving. It cames when it wants to, the emotions swell up and rush out. Usually with no advance warning. Like Death it comes on quickly and there is no way to control it. 

Home is

 Home. Home is where I settled down 50 plus years ago. Home is about the settings, buildings, and shops. Home is about friends and neighbors. Home is about woods, and marshes. Home is the owls, titmice, and the warblers. Home is the heat coming out of the fireplace on a cold winter night. Home is the greenhead flies, butterflies, and dragon flies. Home is the sunsets and the sunrises. Home is about the feeling of being in the right place all the time. Home is the local breweries, restaurants, and grocery stores.

Being 12 Years Old Again, once again

 I am so grateful for my Hay Street Friends. We are crazy, fun, and sometimes dangerous. We laugh, have tea, walk down to the White Bridge for exercise, look for owls, laugh and cry. We have all had some bad problems along the long and winding road of life. Operations, cancer, death and other pleasures of life. 

The Hay Street gang is a quiet organization that allows  women to repeat being in 7th grade. Bad Silly behavior is encouraged.  Ah, that feel of youth. You walk in and soon you are 12. The year of growing into a women.  This is heavy stuff you are about to walk into.  Re-live the stress of puberty and fighting with parents.

Near The Chin of the Racoon

I stopped somewhere near the chin of the racoon in my 40 year counted cross stitch  project last winter.

Slowly, I checked where I ended last winter, again and again.
Not wanting to make a mistake has slowed the project to a dead halt.

Meditating my way to a calm mind

 Step by step I am calming my mind and relaxing.It seems to be working. Step by Step.

My back is strong again, and  last thursday was my last PT. Next step diet....eating better, and avoiding yummy things.

Next step build up WILL POWER.

Still snowing. Extreme cold coming. The two huge rain storms that we had last week have flooded local beaches and carried away beach homes. Worst flooding since 1970. Welcome to Global Warming up close and personal. Portland, Me streets under water, Hampton Beach flooded, Salisbury Beach flooded. 

Watching Netflix WW2 colorized war movies. Sad, shocking, and addictive. Why is our race so violent?

What makes us mad with range about other human beings? Why can't we love each other and get along?