What time is it?

I had trouble falling asleep last night. The air conditioning was on and my pain was traveling around my body. I tried to sleep in the guest bedroom to no avail. I decided to go back to my bedroom, but pick up the knitted blanket a dear friend from Maine had gifted us. I took a pain pill and slipped into bed with the soft warm blanket and wrapped it around me into a cocoon. 

When I awoke, I smelled the coffee brewing and was still in this warm, wrapped position. Soft, and warm, I was. Then I remember part of a dream. In the dream a women said to me:

                "and remember what is most important is in your heart."

My pandemic experience may be a sorry state of mind. However, my soul or being or how ever you call it...send me a dear message last night. I am very grateful this morning.

Thank you....my dear spirit friend. That was just what I needed. 

City of Dreams Music.....the big AHHHHHH!!

Big Easy Blues...oh moma this is good. My neighbor put out a box with things she was giving away.  I was walking by and saw this Rounder Record Box and put it down my stretch pants and continued walking. Smooth, blues ...oh baby I am yours.

Just came in from outside. I was on our small South East deck. It has two chairs and a large wooden container for plants. The light was golden and I watched the high clouds float by. I jumped up and picked up my canon camera. I stayed out shooting clouds and trees until the first mosquito bite of the season. Then I came in to write. Our office is small but it has a large east facing window and three windows on the south side.   Also one half of the office space has a small cathedral ceiling. My deck is on the southside with the cathedral ceiling.  We have identical chairs and desks. Glenn's desk is his out EPI office desk that they gave to him when they were closing. He also got another desk that was David's desk. Dave was bipolar. I have Dave's desk. It is somewhat banged up. Glenn still has his original lock for his desk. My desk has no key. I don't care. I just love having a place to work, play and talk on the phone (land line).

I had some good size carpet samples. so out came the duck tape and I put the samples together and taped the  rugs with black duck tape. That was about 25 years ago, and the rug is still working fine. 

The chairs I found were coming off the thrift shop's pick up truck. I ask the man if I could try it out and he said be my guest. So, I asked home much and he said $20 for the two, and I said SOLD.

The chairs are high end office chairs.Now, I started this by saying the office is small. So, when I am sitting at my desk and Glenn is at his...we are about one foot apart. Luckily the chairs have wheels.

He has been studying french for longer than I can remember. Before the holidays, I told him that all I needed was a good pair of headphone. He bought me  a blue headphone. Yes, he nailed it and saved our marriage.

Japanese Melodies by Jean-Pierre Rampal and Lily Laskine

Sweet music. I had the LP. I still have the LP cover in the attic. Years ago, I replaced the LP with a CD. I treasure this CD. When I can not calm myself, listening to this talented flutist and harpist are the best medicine for me. 

Slow down, relax and be calm.

 

Looking up and down for the new normal.

Looking up and down...where is my new normal? Will our rescheduled trip in September be cancelled. I think it will. I hope it will not be cancelled. But how can Europe fully reopen by September. Next week starts the month of June. 

This slow opening is going well in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Our tall, proud governor is methodical in each and every move he takes. He wants to avoid another outbreak. 

Our president is roaring around the country. He is encouraging his followers to disrespect wearing face masks, take rifles on protest marches into state houses if they are too  slow in  reopening. They say they have their rights. Rights to bear arms, freedom not to wear masks. He and they are idiots and no good can come of it. 

Does this all scare me? Yes. What can I do beside vote for the democrat? Pray, and hope for the best outcome. Rioting over black men count? Why are so many angry people encouraged to be bad. 

I am trying very hard to fight my depression. Some days are harder than others. The news my husband watches for three hours each night scare and depress me. He watches German, French, English, Japanese and PBS each night. Then he has trouble sleeping. I want to know what is happening but, I also don't want to fall into the black hole of depression. 

They saving grace is nature, the nature of my neighborhood, and the ocean.  I meditate in my marsh down the street. I pray for calmness. 

Where are the messages for me?

Music:

Rosanne Cash......Black Cadillac

One of my favorite car CDs.  A few days ago, I unloaded all my Car CDs. You know the ones, good traveling music, uplifting, and smooth. Best of David Bowie is another Car CD, Willie Nelson, Rosanne and a french cd. Don't ask.

Strange day. For me a home day. Feels like a Sunday, ok, lets say it is Sunday. I know that it definitely is not Sunday.Who Cares? Who is around? Self Quarented don't even think this is fun anymore. You can drive places. You just can't go in any where. No cocktails, lunch on the run, or do I dare say....a coffee shop (especially one filled with one person at big  tables filled with a lap top, clothes, coffee cup, air phones, and cell phones, flip ones. big ones, small ones, broken ones, oh joy.

Started my day with a man with a tick inside his leg. His good looking legs. Love is about removing a tick with a hemastate on his leg. I am a hero at times. He is a hero at times. Sometimes, we take turns.
Hero for the day. What fun we could have.

Mom's taxes were  finished today by HRBlock. Behind the locked front door is the brains of the operations. You phone them upon arrival in the parking lot, run out give you the package. Does not matter if they only did one part the taxes, they are done. The branch in Newburyport is closing Thursday and this is Tuesday.   Need I say that someone's blood pressure is going to be high  for a few days. Let him think. Give him quiet. Let him cool down.
               Rosanne sing it... World Without Sound....

Feeling very numb today

I am tired, numb, and lethargic. Still in my pjs and bathrobe at my desk. The phoebes are back and trying to make their nest onto of the outside light next to the deck door. Sometime today, Glenn will get his ladder out and the the block of wood goes up on top of the light. It has been proven successful year after year. I do love the phoebees, but not on the deck. They make such a mess.

They will have a better home on the garden shed eves.

Train going by. I am moving slowly. There is a very dark cloud following me.

This will pass soon. I hope.

The Long Steps to The End of Self Isolation and Covid

Signs of hope that the light in the tunnel of self  isolation is starting is starting to slowly open.

Our great commonwealth is being very diligent in the slow opening of beaches, churches, and restaurants.

Caution is good. States that opened earlier are seeing a rapid increase of the illness. 

With each new allowed event will be judged. People who won't wear masks or be six feet apart from another human being will be judged and slow down the opening process. Until people take the treats of this illness seriousness, we won't make any new progress.

I am so happy to have a private refuge in my backyard. It is quiet, safe and very beautiful. The gardens need work, and work is good for the soul.  The large forest that we live adjacent to, is beyond our stone fence.

 Deer, groundhogs and rabbits  wander out of the forest and tour our gardens. It is what they do and there is no way to stop them. The racoons wait patiently from the trees at dusk and hope that we forget to bring in the delicious  hummingbird feeders. When we do forget, they come out at night and take the feeder down, drink the liquid, and then take all the parts off of the feeder. They then scatter the parts in our bushes and other various hiding places.

I do miss friends. On warm days, we invite friends to our back deck and laugh, talk and chatter about whatever pops into our mind. It is so nice to reconnect after this long isolation.