Taking Stock of This Year's Resolution....2021

 PATIENCE, Have Patience, practice patience, and continue again.

I took a list of questions, and observations to my knee surgeon. He looked me in the eye and said you had major surgery, this will take time....and bingo I remembered my New Years  Resolution:

how could I forget?

PATIENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I felt worn out, tired, exhausted, and sad. I wanted to feel good again, sleep well again, dream again and be a loving soul again. Dr. Mateous was 100% on target. 

After France, if we go???

I will have my right knee fixed. I will go through this process again. It will be familiar, I will no longer be a hospital rookie. 

Next summer 2022...will be my summer of two good knees. That is something to dream about, be patient again and take the ride through the surgery. 

I know I can do this. I can do this with the pandemic, it will be harder. Yes, harder. 

Look to the summer of 2022.

7Aug21 Down in the Dumps, Dru to the Rescue 2 Hours on PIWR Beach Parking Lot 6

Giant Cat  Not happy with the New Trolley

 This last week, everything seemed to be in back and white. My mood was black and white. The Dixie fire in California grew to record breaking heights. Ethiopians face a major famine. Global warming blamed for massive floods in Europe. The news screams at me. Bad New, Bad New and more Bad News.  The other day, while watching the news, I curled up into a fetal position on my couch. I could not take it any more.

I did not sleep very well that night. Probably I crashed about 1:30am. I had my alarm on for 7am. I was going to the beach with a bathing suit for the first time in years. I did not make coffee. Bad mistake. I got into to the car half awake. I wrestled with the steering wheel.   Luckily for me , Dru  had coffee ready for me and we went onto Plum Island Wildlife Refuge and got to parking lot 6 before 7:30am. We got the last parking site. We hiked to the beach and sat down on our chairs, and took deep breaths of the ocean, the blue sky, and listened to the waves. It was pure magic. I forgot about my knee surgery. I forgot about the world news. I was on the beach, with no camera, I was fully present.  I was alive, happy and warm.

We stripped down  to our suits and walked to the water's edge. Cold water touched our toes. The surf beat our toes. New England cold water always brings back my beach days as a child. I would stay in the cold water until my lips turned blue and I had a big shiver on. Mom would call me in and warm me with a fresh towel. 

We walked down the beach and talked to the Pipping Plover Warden, who advised us that parts of the beach were still going to be closed due to the young plovers. These birds are federally protected.

After two hours, we packed up and went back to the cottage. We talked about art, growing up, and how to get world peace. Girl talk.

Then I got back into my car, and started to drive. the car still was stiff and I released that something happened to power steering. There was no power steering. It was like driving my mom's 1957 Chevy, driving a tank. I did go straight home. 

My car had no power steering fluid. The dark clouds came back into my mind.