Are We Out Of Our Minds?

Yesterday, we paid our final payment on our France Riverboat Cruise. We booked our September Riverboat Cruise, when we had to face the facts that the May 2020 cruise was not happening.  Once final payment is given, cruise is nonrefundable. So, we may or may not be able to go. But, we decided not to put our cruise off until 2021. Oh, that possibility  was not acceptable to us.

The air fare was changed already and hoping against all odds that Norwegian Air does not go bankrupt. The last few scares of their end, was relieved by government funding. 

This trip, this Corona Pandemic, my nerves are all on alert. Please give us a window of opportunity. 

We wear our masks, stay home 95% of the time, and yet, we are betting on flying overseas, getting on a boat, and having a happy time. 

If those worries were enough, our President is out of his mind and willing to do anything to get reelected.

Breathe, breathe...I tell myself. This is not the end of the world. Why does it feel so scary? Well in reality it may be the end of the country as we know it. 

What better time to go on vacation.

 

Hot and Bothered

Listening to City of Dreams, Street Beat pure New Orleans Music to cool my soul.

 92 outside, cool inside.

Last Monday, we had our first lunch out in Portsmouth, NH. We sat in the garden of Gas Light Grill. I had my first lobster roll of the year. The process of eating out with people, wait people was surreal for me.

The last time we ate out it was at least three months ago. Drinking a martini outside my home was also a treat. This was a very expensive treat but, well deserved.

This Monday, Massachusetts will allow restaurant reopen in a corona approved setups. Slowly, step the Great Commonwealth opens back its economy. Better safe than sorry, I say.

Most people in our state wear masks outside their homes. I have five bandanas and just order 3 masks to take to Europe if our September trip is allowed to happen. Time will tell. Today, the Eiffel Tower has reopened for visitors.

Our president has gone mad. He is one strange man. His followers are even scarier. He and his followers don't need to wear masks in public. They don't believe they can get the corona virus. Trump and his followers are dumb as bricks. But, their politic are something else. Their politics give me night mares. 

Very, very scary stuff going on.

So, I carry on. Some days I am afraid to go outside beyond my house. Today, I drove my car downtown. Poor car has been out three times since March. We don't get out much any more. No long drives to feel the freedom of choice. Not now, but, soon.

Not Really Getting More Crazy During This Pandemic

Getting my gear together on the table on the back deck.  Yup, going out for a  bit of fresh air.

Or what.....NO.  The bug season opening the morning. Hundred of matting bugs, hungry bugs, biting bugs, and bugs who never got the lesson to leave the human alone.  

I hate the mosquito who buzzes and bites you, yellow jacket who smells beer on your breathe (and being a bully, he is going to make a hobby of you).

We have these small black flying bug in the shape of  a triangle. He won't bite you, joust buzz around your head till you kill him. 

Butterflies are good bugs, and so are damsel and dragon flies rate an AA. 

Green head Fly is the the King of the bugs. He lives near marsh land. For two weeks this nasty bug will make a grown man cry with his bite.  Once they bite, they don't let go. Then they start sucking out your blood. At that point of time, the only option is to kill him and do it the first hit and don't miss.

Just saying.

My Cat Resume 2020, Don't Won't To Talk About Chronic Pain.

My last cat was feral, his was was co-worker when I retired. His name was Ringo, and he was biter.

Becky is our current kitty and she is very shy and scaredy cat. She sleeps for twenty hours a day and her preferences of bedding is in the guest bedroom. Somehow, she can tunnel under the comforter and stay in the dark and warmth at the end of the bed.

Back to the main subject...Pain.  How does one deal with chronic pain? How does one smile with chronic pain? How to cope with chronic pain? 

I meditate a lot. I do think that it helps the muscles relax and therefore take away some pain. But, I can not be meditating 24/7, I do have a life. Hot baths do help.  It calms down the pain for sometimes up to an hour. 

After years of pain, I have learnt that you can not be angry at the pain. It will increase its intensity.  Breathing, slow and long breaths does help. It might look odd to some people. Some people need to get over it. The breathing calms me and then the muscles release. Drinking only numbs it. Smoking really relaxes the muscles but I don't want to become a coach potato.

Cats do help ease the pain. Esmeralda my first cat used to take the MBTA ride out to my mother's house with even though she was a feral kitten.  Baku was our second cat.was a mellow outdoor cat. We answered a kitten ad and got to meet all the kittens and puppies before we chose him. Finally Becky is our fully indoor cat who is shy.

Thoughts Looking Back These Three Isolation Months During Pandemic

Am I the same person that I was back in February?  Have I changed my perspective of life?

Am I better or worse? Happier or Sadder?

I would say that these months have been very trying on me. I love being alone, but I sure love going to museums, restaurants, and going out for a quick beer.

I am not a materistic person. But, have become more non-materialistic. I want less, need less, and have no need to be cluttered.

I have always been able to amuse myself. At times, it has been hard. But, in the long run these months have given me a new insight to who I am, and that person is a very strong person.

I am a person who loves nature, and it feeds me with joy. I am a person who loves loud rock and roll music, and soft classical music. I can be sad and its ok. I can be happy and that is ok also.

I am independent. I am a self thinker, nonconformist. I carry on when things are bad.

But, I prefer things to be good.  I am an optimist, and some times a coward.

The news scares me. I don''t understand why people hate for no reason. I want there to be peace among people. Is that too much to ask?

What time is it?

I had trouble falling asleep last night. The air conditioning was on and my pain was traveling around my body. I tried to sleep in the guest bedroom to no avail. I decided to go back to my bedroom, but pick up the knitted blanket a dear friend from Maine had gifted us. I took a pain pill and slipped into bed with the soft warm blanket and wrapped it around me into a cocoon. 

When I awoke, I smelled the coffee brewing and was still in this warm, wrapped position. Soft, and warm, I was. Then I remember part of a dream. In the dream a women said to me:

                "and remember what is most important is in your heart."

My pandemic experience may be a sorry state of mind. However, my soul or being or how ever you call it...send me a dear message last night. I am very grateful this morning.

Thank you....my dear spirit friend. That was just what I needed.